Concussion
by carolinaspen
Summary: They said forever. Three years later everything is different. Superstition brought them together, tragedy tore them apart. Now a concussion could reveal the truth, that is if the deceit doesn't destroy them for good.
1. Chapter 1: Something Has Happened to Sid

_Concussions are head injuries caused by a blow to the head and can result in_ _brain damage_ _. Sometimes a victim suffers varying states of consciousness, or none at all. There also may be confusion,_ _dizziness_ _, and_ _memory loss_ _In all cases of head injuries, a physician's care is immediately required._

"I'd like to propose a toast."

There were clinks of glasses, urgent hushes and the roar of the room turned to a low buzz in seconds. A man stood, his beer bottle raise, the tie on his shirt long gone, the buttons undone at the collar. His dark hair slicked back, his eyes a little misty, either from the sentiment of the speech he was about to give or the shot of crown he'd just taken with his buddies moments earlier.

"I've know Sid nearly all my life. He's a brother to me and I am so happy that I am here to share in this amazing weekend. When I met Caroline, I knew that this girl was special. Getting to know her I realized how good of a fit she was for my buddy, but to understand that, you gotta know Sid. The kind of guy he is. It reminds me of a story way back when we were in grade three…"

Ten minutes later, as the speech continued with no ending in sight, Caroline Reid swallowed a sigh as she smiled gracefully at the tipsy ol' pal of Sid's who stood before a crowd of nearly 200. It was a beautiful room. Historic, but classy. Ornate, but still understated. The chandeliers sparkled, the linens flawless without a wrinkle in sight. She stared out at a sea of people and wondered how many she actually knew. Ten? Twenty?

A small wedding they had said. Just close friends and family. And yet here she was. Her rehearsal dinner. THe night before the biggest day of her life and she'd wondered how had this happened?

"Is he ever going to finish?" she whispered to hear seat mate, who seemed engrossed in the speech.

"Huh?" Sidney Crosby cocked his head in his fiancee's direction, his eyes sparkling and trained on his best friend who was a little drunk, but was telling some great stories that Sid had forgotten about.

"I think your grandmother has fallen asleep," she whispered again and tried not to let her grievance end just because her extremely handsome soon to be husband was gently squeezing her thigh and rubbing his thumb again the inside of her leg, a tactic he used to distract her.

It wouldn't work.

It had been 3 weeks and 2 days since Sid had proposed. 23 days. And this speech seemed longer than any of it. She couldn't complain. It was amazing. But the weeks had been a blur. All of it really. Hours after the proposal, as they called family and friends to share the good news, he'd turned to her. Sid's eyes bright and alive. Filled with a joy she could share but not really describe.

"Let's get married."

She'd laughed and held up her hand, showing off the ring. "I think we got that part covered."

"No, now. Let's do this now. While you're here."

"Now? What about my family, our friends?"

"Ok, not right now. But soon. In a couple of weeks." He drew her close. They were in the middle of his kitchen. His parents and some relatives sitting outside on the patio as they celebrated the good news. She'd facetimed with her parents. They were engaged. It still didn't feel quite real but it was. And now, he wanted it to happen immediately.

And even though logic and rational told her she needed at least a year to plan a wedding. Her heart said, yes. Yes, now. She didn't want to spend another moment without him. She wanted him forever and she wanted forever to begin as soon as possible.

"The season will be starting soon and we'll have to wait nearly a year to get this opportunity again. I want to go back to Pittsburgh with you as my wife. I love you and I can't wait to make you mi-"

"Yes," she interrupted, the sparkle in her eye rivaling his. Caroline nodded emphatically. "I want that too, let's do it."

"Really?"

She bit her lip and nodded, "As long as my family can get here, yes. I love you too and I don't want to wait either."

His mouth covered hers in an instant and she stood up on her toes to meet the ferocity of his kiss.

After that it was settled. A small wedding. They had only a few weeks to plan.

The next day they went up to Prince Edward Island. Caroline had grown up watching Anne of Green Gables and had romanticized PEI for years. It was as beautiful as she'd imagined. They found a cute little hotel that overlooked the ocean and Caroline discovered that short notice meant nothing when it came to fame and money.

Her mother flew up a few days later and it was like a tornado. A cyclone of flowers and dresses, food and music. Everything she needed was at her fingertips and there was no limit.

Including the guest list, that was quickly taken out of her hands and put into the control of her soon to be mother in law. The little hotel wouldn't work and was upgraded to a beach side resort down the road. Her list of 60 people turned into over 350. If there had been more time she would have protested. But there wasn't. She had to get her dress and pick a small bridal party. Sara and Taylor at first, but even that began to grow.

But in the end she didn't care. The party didn't matter. All that mattered was she and Sid. They were going to be married and in the end as long as he was there at the end of the aisle, nothing else mattered. It was overwhelming, it wasn't particularly what she'd planned, but it was all about compromise.

There was also a lot of paperwork. Marrying someone from another county was complicated. She and Sid went down to Halifax a few times to get it all sorted out. And then there was the awkward reality. A visit to Sid's attorney. An explanation of assets, it was described to her. His father had come too. Sid looked embarrassed by the whole thing, but she'd signed what needed to be signed, understanding that this was just part of it.

And now here she was. And despite all of it, the out of control wedding, the prenup, the never ending speech, she wouldn't change any of it. Because he was sitting next to her, dashing in a striped dress shirt and charcoal grey slacks, his hair freshly cut and smelling distinctly like him, and they were going to be together.

Forever.

Eventually the speech ended and the circus continued, they said their goodbyes until the next day and Caroline spent hours into the late night surrounded by people helping her get everything settled.

She was in one wing of the hotel, he in another and many steps had taken place to keep them from seeing each other until 2 o'clock tomorrow.

Finally everyone left and she could go to sleep. But just as her head hit the pillow, she heard a light knock at her door.

It was Sid.

He was in track pants and a long t-shirt and his hair stuck up in every direction.

"Come with me," he said quietly, smiling.

She pulled on some clothes and slipped her feet into a pair of flip flops.

They navigated the quiet halls and tip toed through the lobby.

The night air was cool, but his hand was warm and held onto hers tightly. Down to the beach they went and despite her questions, he didn't speak, leading her along the sandy shores.

Finally they stopped, he pointed towards the hillside back to dry land and she saw the lights of the small hotel they'd visited a few weeks ago.

Sid gave her a small smile, "I know this isn't the wedding we talked about. I'm sorry, its been taken over by my family. They mean well, but I guess, I don't know, things sometimes just snowball. But this. Right now," he took her hands, his gaze tender on hers, the dark shadows casting a blanket over them, "right now, I want to marry you."

Caroline felt the tears warm on her cheeks, her heart hammering against her chest.

"I, Sidney, take you Caroline, to be my lawfully wedded wife…" his voice was quiet, soft. He knew all the words and he held both her hands firmly in his as the words came sure and steady.

She repeated the words back to him. Shaky with emotion, she spoke, "I, Caroline, take you Sidney to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have…" her voice caught. She swallowed and smiled, "To have and to hold..."

She didn't break his gaze. Her words coming stronger and with conviction. Every word an oath that no matter what they always had each other.

When the vows were done, Sid cleared his throat and pulled her into his arms.

"I now pronounce us man and wife," he whispered, his forehead dropping to hers. "I'm going to kiss my bride now."

His mouth moved gently across hers as he tightened his embrace.

"I love you, Mrs. Crosby," he said against her lips.

Caroline felt the shiver flow down to her toes.

"I love you, Mr. Crosby," she replied.

"Forever."

* * *

 _3 years later_

It came halfway through the second period of the home opener. They'd raised the banner and he stepped on the ice for his 12th NHL season. He felt great. That spring he'd hoisted the cup for the second time, he'd just attended the ring ceremony a few days earlier and now they had just taken the lead against their division rival the Capitals. He'd come out of the neutral zone barreling through, he'd criss crossed on the ice, the thrill of a new season coursing through his veins and then…

He was in a room. It was dark. His gear was gone and his lips were dry. Voices that seemed far away were asking him questions. He knew his mouth was moving, but he couldn't say what was coming out. Then they were gone. And he was alone. His eyes felt heavy. His head pounding.

He knew what this was. He couldn't remember what had happened but he knew this.

This part was familiar. Painfully familiar.

Some time later the trainers came back, along with the team doctor. Then a little while later Flower appeared.

No visitors, but Flower didn't listen. He couldn't let his teammate, his friend be alone.

"They're going to do a few more tests. Wont let me go quite yet."

Flower nodded, "You'll be ok buddy." He gave a smile because that's what Flower did.

"Hey, will you do me a favor?" Sid asked. "Can you find Caroline? I'm sure she's terrified. I asked these guys to let her know I'm ok, but they keep telling me to just stay still. I think she's up in the suite. I'm going to need her to drive us home tonight."

Flower stopped smiling, his eyes flickered to the trainers surrounding his friend and captain, then back to Sid.

"Buddy..."

But Marc didn't get a chance to finish. Instead he watched his teammate's eye glass over and with one big heave, vomit onto the floor between his feet.

After that everything moved very fast.

Sidney heard the voices get louder, images became blurry and then there was nothing.

He woke up to the bright light filtering in through the vertical blinds. There was a steady beeping and the smell of hand sanitizer and latex.

In the corner was a lump on the couch, a blanket covered the form and as he tried to get his bearings, he felt a low grunt come from his lips. The lump moved.

Caroline.

The blanket fell and the lump revealed itself. Not Caroline. It was his mother.

"Sweetie," she breathed, jumping from the couch and crossing the room.

She looked tired and disheveled, but smiled as she came closer and took his hand in hers.

"What's going on?" he croaked. His voice was hoarse and his throat burned.

"Let me call the nurse," Trina said quickly, her fingers seeking the call button on the remote next to her son.

"Your dad will be here soon, he's coming from Montreal. I was in Boston with Taylor when the team called last night. They sent a plane for me. I got in just a few hours after you were admitted. It's a concussion, honey." Her eyes began to mist up. "It least that's what they think. You got sick and lost consciousness, so they brought you here. It's going to be okay." He felt her cool fingers close over his hand and give a light squeeze, her thumb running over his knuckles soothingly.

He looked around the room, there was no one else.

"Where's Caroline?" he asked.

Trina's hand stopped.

She said nothing.

"Where's Caroline?" he repeated. Something wasn't right.

"Where is my wife?" he nearly shouted.

And then the door opened and a sea of nurses and doctors flooded in. He watched as his mother pulled away, falling back behind the crowd and disappearing from view.

Lights shone in his face, a thousand questions directed at him.

But he had only one.

Where was Caroline?

* * *

She was running late. Pulling into the parking lot, she turned into the first spot she could find and grabbed her stuff before the car was even in park. Caroline dashed across the asphalt, the October sun strangely warm, as it was officially an Indian summer.

Her hair was still wet. She'd overslept. Waking up in the middle of the night to a feeling of dread. It had taken hours to fall back asleep and when she had, she slept right through her alarm.

She ascended the stairs of W.H. Taft School. The Cincinnati magnet school was not far from her apartment and she'd made it with twelve minutes to spare. Just enough to grab a cup of coffee from the teacher's lounge and toss her lunch into the staff refrigerator.

There weren't many people in teacher's lounge. Most were already in their classroom, preparing for the day. Only the gym teacher and Mr. Wilson, the maintenence man sat on the worn plaid couch drinking from their mugs and watching Sportscenter.

Juggling her lunch and work bag and purse, she jerked her head hello at the men.

"Mornin' Miss Reid," Mr. Wilson said amiably, "Fine weather we're having, don't you think?"

"Yes," she said with a weak smile. "Very nice." She'd only been at the school a few weeks, but the staff had been extremely welcoming.

She put her lunch away and hoisted her bags over her shoulder. She crossed to the coffee maker and grabbed a mug. As the hot liquid streamed steadily into her cup, she heard it.

The television.

" _A scary scene out of Pittsburgh last night, as captain Sidney Crosby suffered a nasty hit last night in the second period of the Penguins shootout win against Washington. Crosby left the game and didn't return. His status is unknown as we await a statement from the team."_

Her hand was burning.

She tore her eyes from the tv and looked down at the hot coffee overflowing from her mug and spilling over onto her hand. Quickly she pulled back, wiping her hand on her striped dress.

She looked back the television, but it had gone to commercial. Mr. Wilson and the gym teacher were talking about the Bengals game.

It was like it had never happened.

Faintly she heard the buzzing. It was coming from her purse.

She frantically dug into the bag and pulled out her iphone.

Eight missed calls.

All from the same person.

A name she hadn't seen appear on her phone in nearly a year.

Trina Crosby.

Her mother in law.

Her soon to be ex-mother in law.

Caroline's phone buzzed again.

It was a text message.

 _Call me please. It's an emergency._

 _Something has happened to Sid._

* * *

 _***Author's note: About a month ago I was driving to visit a friend who lives a few hours away. Per usual, my brain began to wander and soon a storyline began to take shape. In this story Sidney gets another concussion. I spent two hours driving, lost in the story as it quickly began to develop. The next day, Sidney Crosby was diagnosed with a concussion. Safe to say, I was totally weirded out, but I also took it as a sign and decided to take the idea and pursue it as the third story in the Sid/Caroline pairing. I waited on posting anything because I think I might be a little superstitious as well and didn't want to put anything out in the universe until it was certain Sid was okay and back on the ice. You know me, updates aren't always the quickest, but I do have most of the story developed and am very inspired and motivated with the story. I hope you enjoy and go pens!***_

 _***Author's note 2: There will be an epilogue to Now and Then. I don't know when but eventually I will fully finish that story. I got so burnt out on writing that I didn't want to post anything until I was happy with it.***_


	2. Chapter 2: A Guest in Your Own House

The drive to Pittsburgh was four and a half hours with light traffic. The conversation with Sid's mom had been brief. He was in the hospital. He was confused. They were concerned about his well being and wanted her there. Caroline had a million questions and twice as many fears about returning home. Returning to him. It had taken months for her to just pull herself out of bed. And even more time to even consider moving on. She'd found the job in Cincinnati, reverted back to her maiden name and prayed that no one would know who she was.

And it had worked. She could move on. It didn't seem so impossible. Nevermind that she was still married. They hadn't talked about divorce. They hadn't talked about even a legal separation. They hadn't talked at all. Not since Christmas of last year.

But now he needed her. THere was something wrong and she couldn't turn off her heart. Couldnt pretend that she didn't still love him.

So she put away the questions and the fears and told Trina she would be there first thing Friday morning.

It was after midnight when she came upon the tunnels. A few minutes later she pulled up to her old house. Her brother lived there now, with his girlfriend, but they were gone for a long weekend and had not asked questions when Caroline had called earlier to see if she could stay. The key was left under a potted plant and it felt strange be a guest in a place she had called home. She wondered if she'd feel the same way when she went to Sewickley tomorrow.

She set herself up in the guest room and started to unpack. She was nervous about everything. She looked critically at her clothes and wondered what would even be appropriate for such a meeting/reunion? Her eyes drifted to the box she had put in the bottom of her overnight bag. She'd put it in there on impulse and now with trembling fingers she lifted the lid and looked at the contents.

Photographs, notes he'd written her before leaving for extended road trips, a clipping of their wedding announcement from the local paper in Steubenville, a small jewelry box that contained her engagement and wedding rings. And another picture. At the bottom. One that was too hard to look at. One that stayed buried. Not forgotten, but filled with too much pain.

The warm tears slide silently down her cheeks as she picked up one that she had loved the most. It was on their wedding day. The official one, not the private ceremony they had together on the beach in the middle of the night.

In this one they were dancing. Sid's mouth was at her ear, his eyes alive with amusement and she with a wide smile.

Even now, while wading in the melancholy, Caroline smiled at the memory.

* * *

"I'm going to step on your feet. Madame Helene took away all my confidence." He said softly into her ear. It was their first dance as man and wife. Caroline tried not to laugh, but couldn't help but smile from ear to ear at the memory of the dance instructor's visit a few weeks ago to the lake house. Sid's aunt had called upon the director of the local dance school to come give lessons to the soon to be married couple. An early wedding gift she had said. A completely unwarranted and totally awkward lesson had followed, in which Madame Helene, a 50-something, French Canadian woman with thick black hair and a moustache to match had barked orders at the couple as they tried to find a rhythm with no music.

"Non, non!" she had shouted over and over, clapping loudly and sharply, indicating her unhappiness with their performance.

"Comme tu t'aimes, comme tu t'aimes!"

Suddenly she had shoved them together unceremoniously. Their bodies slamming into one another, Sid's arm came around Caroline's waist. There wasn't an inch between them and the whole thing had turned very embarrassing.

Eventually Caroline had been pulled away and Madame Helene had taken her place. She'd pulled Sid's hips into hers and wriggled against him that made Caroline's eyes widen and Sid's face and ears go aflame in seconds.

"Comme ca!" she said with a smile as she proceeded to pull Sid around the living room in a basic waltz. And then as if things couldn't get any worse, he'd stepped on her ballet slippered foot and the woman had screamed and cursed in French, pulling away and hopping to the nearest chair to tend to her small foot that had just been crushed by a two hundred pound mass of muscle.

Ten minutes later she was gone.

Sid looked horrified but Caroline couldn't stop laughing.

Now, in each other's arms, finding the rhythm was not a problem and in their state, they couldn't even hear the music.

The wedding was beautiful, the reception fun. Teammates and friends, family from both sides coming together, albeit a little shell shocked on Caroline's side.

Hours later they made their exit. Anticipation buzzing around them. Hand and hand in the elevator, the heat radiating, arousal building to a frenzy. Caroline rubbed her thumb against the back of his hand, running it over the cool metal of the ring on his finger. Finally they stood in front of the honeymoon suite. She looked at him and he looked back to her.

"My husband." she said quietly with a small smile.

He dropped a kiss on her upturned mouth.

"My wife," he replied.

A with one easy and swift movement, he pulled her up and into his arms, bridal style.

She shrieked with surprise and then laughed as he tried to balance her in his arms and fish out the room key that was in his coat pocket.

It was tricky.

After a minute of shifting and "I've got it." Caroline unwound her hands from around his neck and reached into Sid's pocket to pull the key free.

"Here you go," she said amusement in her voice.

And then they were inside.

The suite was huge. White, luxurious fabrics with metallic touches here and there. Candles that had been lit just recently. A bottle of champagne on ice, a large jacuzzi tub filled with pink and yellow flowers and surrounded by more candles.

The place glowed and it was like they were in heaven.

And they were.

Their eyes locked as Sid kicked the door shut behind him.

He set her down on her feet and pulled her near. His mouth descended on hers. She met him eagerly and parted her lips to accept the heat and insistence of his tongue.

His hands moved over her bare shoulders and his fingers crept up her neck to pull her hair free from the confines of wedding hair. His mouth reluctantly drew away but his lips trailed across her cheek and to her jawbone.

"I get to kiss you for the rest of my life," he murmured against her skin. "The rest of our lives." He corrected.

He left hot, wet marks all along the column of her neck and waiting to hear the moan of approval he was used to when he nipped at juncture of her neck and collarbone.

But instead of a moan, there was a giggle.

He pulled away but her fingers threaded through his thick dark hair and guided him back to that spot.

"Do it again," but a bark of laughter at the end of the request made him pull away completely.

Her face was red and she was smiling like a maniac.

"I'm sorry," she said giggling.

He gave her a curious look and cocked his head.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know," she said laughing, her hands coming over her mouth. But the laughter wouldn't stop. She turned away from him, her shoulders heaving.

"Caroline?"

"I'm nervous." She mumbled through her hands. She turned back, trying to compose herself. Her eyes were big and apologetic. "I don't know why I'm acting like this, but I feel so nervous. I thought it was anxiety, you know for our wedding night. But it's not anxiety. It's like... I'm scared." She seemed so surprised by what she was saying.

"I mean I can't be scared. We've done this a ton of times. I love you. So much and I can't wait to be with you, make love. I guess maybe it's the pressure but that seems so silly. I guess I just got inside my own head and now I can't get ou-oof."

Her legs hit the back of the bed. She had been so into her rant that she hadn't realized that he was walking towards her and she was walking backwards.

She looked at his eyes, they had been patient and understanding. But now. They were dark. Nearly black. And he looked like he wanted to devour her.

And the laughing stopped. The giggles were gone. And a heat began to course through her veins.

He pushed her gently onto the bed. With ease he shrugged out of his tuxedo jacket and pulled at the already loosened tie around his neck. She shimmied up a bit to get a better view as he slowly undid the buttons of the still crisp white shirt. His eyes were still dark and they bore into hers.

Caroline watched as he reached the last button, undid his cuffs and then the shirt was off. His arms were thick. Tanned from the summer, a dusting of dark hair along his forearms. His shoulders and biceps bulky from summer workouts. His chest was smooth and broad. The muscles twitching with their own anticipation.

Caroline swallowed thickly, her eyes leaving his to look at his exposed torso. His abs rippled, his waist thick but the muscle defined.

His hands moved to his belt. Then when that was gone, the button on his pants, his fingers moving the zipper down.

She could feel the tightening of her core, the moisture pooling against the soft fabric of her panties.

The was no more laughing. She was captivated.

He toed off his shoes and deftly pulled off each sock as his pants fell into a puddle at his feet.

He wore only black jockey shorts. And even in the candlelight of the room and the darkness of his underwear, she could see his erection straining against the fabric.

His face still serious, focused on her. His hands at the waistband the cotton stretched across his bulging thighs.

And then they were gone.

His penis stood proud and hard. Ready for her. She stared at it. And despite seeing him countless times in this state of arousal, it still made her nearly weep with need.

She stared at him as he stood there. He was hers. All hers. And she wasn't scared. She wasn't nervous. She wasn't even anxious anymore.

She was aroused. Nearly blinded by it. And him standing there did that to her. And he knew that.

Whatever she was feeling, he always knew how to make it better.

He walked to the bed, his heavy flesh swinging as he moved.

And then he smiled, a boyish smile from someone who at this moment was all man.

"Better?" He asked.

She nodded slowly, her throat dry. "Much," she said hoarsely.

"Good."

And then he was on the bed and he his hands were under her dress. Layers and layers of silk organza and tulle separated him from the warm and pulsing tremble of her skin. The Vera Wang ballgown was beautiful and made her feel like a princess, but right now she cursed all the layers that separated him from getting to her.

Finally his smooth palms found her thighs. He ducked his head under her dress and while it should have made her laugh, it didn't. Because his fingers were at the seam of her panties and they were pushing and pulling at the fabric. Exposing her wet and hot heat to the cool air. His mouth pressed against the wet fabric, his teeth pulling it to the side. And then his lips were on her lips. His tongue already lapping at the seeping of her arousal. He stopped and tugged a few times, pausing his ministrations to removed the pesky barrier.

Once that was accomplished, he dove right in. His mouth covering her, his tongue finding her sweet spot and curling around it. He did all the things she loved and a few that she'd never experienced before. He lapped at the pulsing flesh flattening his tongue against her, putting just the right pressure on her bundle of nerves. His tongue was persistent and found its was into her. He withdrew and then did it all over again.

All she could see was the mass of white fabric and a bobbing lump underneath. But she didn't need to see, because she could feel everything.

He built her up, then pulled back, only to go at her with a calculated frenzy. Finally she reached the peak. Everything tightened to a painfully glorious height. She screamed his name, she moaned and shrieked and even heard nonsensical words come from her lips as the thunderous avalanche of pleasure slammed into her. She grabbed the lump, holding him in place and the flood of her orgasm flowed out of her.

Sid lapped it all up. Her essence even sweeter on this special night.

Finally he reemerged, his lips glossy, his eyes bright.

"I think it's time to lose the dress," he said with a smile.

Caroline nodded in agreement. "Yes, now. Please."

She scrambled up onto her still shaky knees and turned her back to him. The strapless bodice was secured with tiny hooks that ran all the way down the column of her back. He kissed the top of her shoulder as his fingers moved deftly down the curve of her body. Gathering all the fabric, he lifted up and the behemoth of a dress came up and over her head. He easily undid the hooks of her strapless bra and that joined the pile on the floor next to the bed.

Sid's hands moved up and down the warm, smooth skin. His palms cupped her breasts, his thumbs moving back and forth over her pebbled nipples. His mouth dropped back onto her shoulder.

Her skin was the softest he'd ever touched. And he despite having vast knowledge of every inch of it, he never would grow tired of re-exploring it.

But his erection was bordering on painful and he was eager to consummate this marriage.

He turned her into his arms and she pressed herself into him. Her mouth found his as she eagerly kissed him, her hand snaking down to take his hard hot heat into her hand.

"I want you inside me," she said against his lips.

And he was more than happy to oblige his wife.

She lay out below him, her hands on his side then curled around his back, her fingers digging into the solid flesh.

She stared at him as he slipped easily into her, and then moved in a steady rhythm. The steadiness became faster as she rocked up to him, drawing him deeper into her.

The room became filled with the sounds of their lovemaking and the cries of release as they came as one.

That night they made good use of the Jacuzzi, along with the strawberries and cream that had been left with the champagne.

Throughout the night they found each other over and over, and just as dawn began to break, Caroline snuggled deep into Sid's embrace as they fell into a heavy and peaceful sleep.

* * *

Sure enough, it felt weird being a guest in her own home, again.

At nine o'clock, she'd pulled up into the driveway of Creek Drive. She used the code that she had always used and for a moment wondered if he'd changed it.

He hadn't.

The gate opened and she pulled up. Parking her car, she took a deep breath.

She'd slept well, the memories served as a lullaby to a restful sleep that she sorely needed.

As Caroline approached the house, she wondered if she should go right in, or knock. Trina had told her yesterday, that this morning she and Caroline would meet with the doctor. Troy was with Sid at the hospital and they were hoping he would be discharged this afternoon.

She stared at the door and then pressed the doorbell.

A few minutes later it opened and there was Trina.

She looked tired and her eyes were red and swollen from obvious crying.

Caroline's heart panged for her mother in law. And she he felt the anxiety build at seeing Trina like this. It meant it was bad. Really bad. Trina typically took her son's injuries in stride. She'd barely batted an eye when Sid's teeth had been knocked out and his jaw had to be reconstructed with titanium rods.

Nevertheless, she smiled weakly at Caroline and ushered her in.

The two embraced lightly, both keeping a bit of distance.

"Thank you for coming," Trina said kindly.

"Is he going to be ok?" Caroline blurted out, surprised by the tremor in her voice and the sudden rush of emotion.

Trina's eyes began to mist. "I hope so," she said. "The doctor is in the kitchen."

Caroline followed as Trina walked through the foyer and down the hall towards the kitchen. She looked all around, trying to see what had changed, what had stayed the same. She stopped at a side table in the hall, a framed photo catching her eye. It was the same photo she'd looked at last night. The two on them on the dance floor. So in love, so unaware.

"I found that photo in the closet this morning. There was a whole box of photos. I put them out around the house. I'm hoping they will help."

Caroline looked at her mother in law.

"Help with what?" she asked, stupidly.

Trina looked sheepish, as if she had said too much.

"The doctor will explain."

They came upon an older man sitting at the kitchen island, a croissant in one hand and his blackberry in the other.

He looked up at Caroline and gave a nod.

"You must be the wife."

Caroline frowned at his tone, but nodded nonetheless.

"Caroline Re...Caroline Crosby," she said extending out her hand.

The man stood to meet her. "Dr. Becker. Chief resident at Emory University's neuroscience department. I flew in this morning and was just getting familiar with your husband's case."

"His case?" Caroline asked. She had thought it was a concussion. He was confused is what Trina had said. He was being discharged, surely he was getting better. RIght?

Dr. Becker nodded, "Yes, it's fascinating really. Rare. But there is so much about the brain we are still discovering. I'm hoping to do some tests this afternoon. We can do them here at the home. They are not at all intrusive. Actually some find them calming. But based on what I am hearing, the symptoms tell the real story."

"The real story?"

"Yes, the memory loss."

"Memory loss?" Caroline realized that she was just echoing the last few words of what Dr. Becker was saying, but she was having trouble absorbing everything that he was saying.

Caroline looked at Trina, who just stared back sad and a little shell shocked.

"Mrs. Crosby," the doctor said gently, looking from Trina back to her. "You're husband has amnesia."

 _***Author's note: dun, dun, dunnnn. Ok, so I know this sounds crazy, but I'm going to try and make this work and not turn it into some bad soap opera. This story will be kind of like now and then, in that there will be flashbacks to life up until where we are now in time. Thank you everyone for your interest and kind reviews! I really hope you enjoy this story, there will definitely be moments where you have to suspend disbelief, but I'm really excited about how it will all unfold. Your feedback is always appreciated and go pens!***_


	3. Chapter 3: The Crosby Show

"I'm sorry?"

Caroline just stared at the doctor. She must have misheard. Amnesia was only something you heard of in soap operas or bad romance novels. It didn't happen to real people.

"We're not quite sure that is what it is," Trina cut in quickly.

Dr. Becker gave a "how dare you question my medical diagnosis" look and turned back to Caroline.

"The testing I will be performing this afternoon will give us a clearer picture, but based on the notes from the attending physician at the hospital and the symptoms, I can confidently diagnosis this as memory loss due to head trauma."

Caroline blinked a few times trying to process what was going on.

"So he doesn't know who he is?" she asked.

The doctor shook his head. "No, he does. He's fully aware of himself."

"But he doesn't know who other people are?" she asked trying to get clarification.

"No, so far recognition skills have not been in impaired."

Caroline was completely confused.

"So how do you know he has amnesia...memory loss?" She couldn't bring herself to say amnesia, it just seemed so absurd.

Dr. Becker cleared his throat, as Trina's eyes began to well up.

"The trauma your husband has sustained is a little more nuanced than a typical case of amnesia. Rather than not knowing who he is or not recognizing others, he seems to have lost time. I don't feel comfortable making a specific determination until have had some time to speak with him. But it's important that people from his life be present to help fill in the gaps."

Caroline looked at Trina, she was crying now. Silently. Stoically, as Caroline had learned over the years to be a family trait.

She must have still looked confused, because Trina spoke.

"We were hoping that by seeing you, it would trigger his memory. The doctors don't think that this will last for very long. In many cases, the memories come back within a few days. There are many things he remembers, but...after the hit. He asked for you. He thought you were at the game. He thought you would come to the hospital. He doesn't seem to remember…" she trailed off into an uncomfortable silence.

"He doesn't remember that we're not together anymore." Caroline finished. Her voice toneless. For what emotion lacked in her voice, it was gushing through her body tenfold.

He thought they were still together. He'd forgotten what had happened at Christmas? She wondered what he did remember. Things weren't great leading up to the holiday either. Did he think they were happy? And what would change when he saw her? She was just a tool, a resource they could call on to "fix the problem." With no regard for her feelings. Before it was a life that she had accepted and even embraced. It was always about him. Sid had been very good at trying to downplay it as much as possible and when it was just them, she didn't feel it as much. But when his family was around, or his friends, especially the ones from back home, it was The Crosby Show. And it was a one man show. She was gently sidelined as whatever issue, injury or incident took over everyone's attention.

God she sounded bitter.

Her heart hardened. It had taken a long time to get back to normal, or whatever version of life this was that wasn't completely and suffocatingly heart breaking. She hadn't heard a word from Trina since Christmas. And that had hurt. She hadn't expected to hear from her father in law, there was no love lost there. But she and Trina had become close over the years. They'd spent a lot of time together, really formulated a friendship, a bond. Or so Caroline thought. And at Trina's request, Caroline had dropped everything and come here. To help. Even if she'd been excommunicated.

And now she felt betrayed. She felt like a pawn.

And it made her mad.

She wasn't sweet little Caroline anymore. The obedient wife and daughter in law who was dutiful and understanding. Pushing her own well-being to the side while her husband was catered to repeatedly.

No this time they had to figure it out on their own.

"I'm sorry. I can't help," she said standing up quickly.

Dr. Becker and Trina looked at each other, then Caroline, in complete surprise.

"Whatever, his issue is, I'm sure it will be resolved. Like you said, usually it just takes some time for the memories to return. I'm sure in no time Sid will remember that he hates me and all will be well again."

She bit out the words and gathered her things. She didn't look at Trina, but instead focused on the door at the end of the hall.

She charged toward it.

"Please," she heard Trina cry.

Caroline paused, but didn't stop. She rushed out the door and headed towards her car.

But the sound of another car made her pause. Stop, then turn around.

The gate was open and up the driveway came Sid's Tesla. Troy liked to drive it when he was in town and sure enough he was in the driver's seat. She watched as the car pulled up and then looked in the passenger seat. Eyes stared back her. Eyes she hadn't seen in person in nearly a year.

And despite her best efforts her heart gave a lurch.

* * *

Caroline was here.

For some strange reason, seeing her, knowing that she was here brought him a sense of relief. As if he wasn't sure. As if somewhere in the back of his head, he'd had doubt. It hadn't made sense, but truthfully his head was still cloudy even a few days after the hit. The doctors had given him the all clear to come home this morning and he had pushed to get a quick release. He couldn't stand to be there.

He hated hospitals.

And he felt like he was crawling out of his own skin. No phones. No television. Screens were off limits as everyone tried to make sure his brain wasn't completely damaged. So instead he'd laid there. Responding to their questions, but getting no answers to his own.

Tests were taken and it seemed like other than the normal protocol, there was nothing too unusual about this concussion. His head hurt. He still had focus issues. A bit of vertigo, but he could deal with those symptoms at home.

Finally last night his mother had told him where Caroline was. She'd gone home for a few days because her mom had gotten sick. She knew what had happened to him and would be at the house when he came home. Trina had been reassuring, but something seemed off. But seeing Caroline now, standing there with concern etched on her face, he felt the wave of relief wash over him.

As soon as the car was in park, he jumped out.

She looked startled as he walked purposefully towards her.

"Care," he said hoarsely when he reached her. Then without a second thought his head ducked down, his lips brushed lightly against hers.

It was only for a moment, just a brief touch, but something seemed different.

And Caroline, she looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"H-hi," she said with a tinge of disbelief in her voice.

"How's your mom?" he asked, oblivious to his dad getting out of the car. "My mom said food poisoning?"

Caroline's eyes flickered behind him to the sound of the door closing.

"Hello, Caroline," Troy's voice was loud behind him.

She looked back at Sid. "Um, yeah," she brushed back her hair and gave a weak smile. "Bad clams."

Then her face cleared and concern blossomed, "How are you?" She gave him a once over, looking him up and down as if inspecting him for marks of the injury.

"Eh, feeling a little foggy. But better. Missed you like crazy though." Despite his father coming closer, he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close. His nose nuzzled briefly at her neck, where the collar of her sweater met the soft skin of collar bone.

He heard her breath hitch, then the uncomfortable clearing of his father's throat.

He pulled away and noticed her face was remarkably red. He couldn't remember the last time she had blushed like that when he showed affection.

But in all honesty, he couldn't remember a whole lot anyway.

"We should get inside," Troy said gruffly. Caroline nodded quickly and did an about face and walked back towards the house.

"Hey, where's your car?"

Sid's voice was curious and she turned to see him looking at the older Subaru with the Ohio license plates in the driveway.

Her car was gone, traded in. She'd bought this one with a fraction of the money her Mercedes had gotten her.

But he didn't know that.

"Oh, um, the engine light came on and my dad was concerned about me driving back, so I took my mom's car. We're going to switch sometime next week." she looked away, nauseated by how easily the lies came.

Sid seemed to accept that answer and put his arm around her waist as he guided them into the house.

And this was strange.

So strange.

His lips on hers, the touches, the nearness. It threw her for a loop.

She'd been so sure that she'd play no part in any of this charade. This deceit wrapped up in a bow of good intentions.

But seeing him. Like this.

It was like before. Before the separation. Before the lies. Before the heartbreak.

And she missed it. God, she missed it so much. Just breathing him in, it made her frosty heart thaw just a bit.

Even after everything, her brain still got fuzzy in his presence. The effect he had on her hadn't changed from the moment she sat in that trainer's kitchen all those years ago. And now they would go inside, he would meet with the doctor. He would find out what had happened and eventually he would remember.

He would remember how bad it had gotten. He would remember why they weren't together anymore. And she could only hope she was far away when it happened. Because she wouldn't go through it again.

She didn't think she could survive it.

* * *

"It feels good to be home," Sid said with a contented relief as he unlocked the door and stepped into the Sewickley home. Turning to his new bride, he scooped her up, ignoring the surprised cry of protest and focusing on the feeling of her arms looping around his neck. Caroline's scent filled his nostrils, his favorite smell. Despite standing in the foyer of his home, breathing her in was the scent that made him think of home.

"Are you planning on doing this every time?" she asked playfully, her hold firm, although she felt like nothing in his arms. In all fairness she had a bit of a point. There had been the hotel room. And then the lake house. They would be going to her place tomorrow to start the moving process and he'd probably do it there too.

"Maybe," he teased.

It was one of those funny traditions about newlyweds that he liked. It was one of those things that made this seem official. And the rise he got out of Caroline didn't hurt.

She was his wife.

For as long as they both shall live.

A light brush of her lips against his brought him back to earth.

"I don't mind it," she said softly, her eyes going soft, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Especially the part that comes next," her voice a bit husky, her fingertips running up and down his neck, causing a shiver to run down his back.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, his gaze setting on hers.

She bit at her lip and nodded.

"Oh yeah." With a kick of her foot, the door closed behind them and Sid bee lined it straight for the stairs.

Some hours later they were brought back to earth. Freshly showered and making dinner in the kitchen they went over the master schedule. And it was a doozy. Game days, travel dates, practices, PR stuff, sponsorship commitments, appointments and appearances. It was all laid out on a wall calendar. Caroline pulled out a set of highlighters and started color coding in hopes to figure it out. Her schedule was changing too. It may not be the same frenzied pace as Sid's but it had its own challenges. One evening, a week or so after the engagement, she'd had long phone conversation with Veronique. It had started off with just catching up and filling her friend in on the wedding plans, but then it turned into a more advanced class on life at a WAG, the emphasis now on the W. Vero had a great perspective on it all. It didn't hurt that she'd been with her husband way before he'd made it to the professional level. For Caroline and Sid, it was much different. The conversation had been enlightening and Caroline hadn't wavered in her confidence that she could do this. That she wanted to do this. She'd talked it over with Sid and decided that she would go part-time at school. Rather than have her own class, she would go in for a few hours throughout the week. She'd work one on one with the students on their reading. It was a schedule that was conducive to Sid's. It would allow her to have mornings with him and also go to games and work on the various projects and events the WAGs coordinated. "You're queen WAG now" Veronique had teased, but only half kidding. It was true. This was the big time. And she knew that. And she was ready. It wasn't cockiness, but Caroline felt this confidence, this sureness of who she was. Life was about balance, and this life especially required a lot of give and take.

"So moving day is tomorrow," Sid said, digging into the salmon Caroline had prepared.

She nodded. "It won't be much. I'm keeping the all the furniture there. My family will use it when they come to visit and Neil's talked about coming out here when he graduates. So mostly the rest of my clothes and odds and ends."

"I'll come by after practice to help," Sid offered, then paused looking as if he was going to say more. He then stood and Caroline watched him walk over to the kitchen nook they held all the incoming mail. He dug through the mountain of mail before pulling out a number of glossy books. He brought them back to the table and set them down between him and Caroline. "So, I ordered these," he began.

Caroline looked at the catalogs, taking in the images of beautifully decorated living rooms and bedrooms.

"I thought if you'd like we could do some redecorating." He gestured around the space. "I know the stuff here is a little...masculine. I thought, we could go through these and make this place more...like it ours. It could use a woman's touch and I want this home, well, I want it to be yours, just as much as it is mine. I thought this might be a fun project we could do together. I mean, if you want to."

He was starting to ramble and felt strangely nervous. It wasn't lost on him how much was changing for her. Him too, but Caroline was completely immersing herself in this new world. He didn't want her to feel like this wasn't hers too.

Caroline grinned at her husband, her heart melting at how flustered he seemed. It touched her that he was offering this endeavor, but she wasn't surprised. He knew how to make her feel special, included, in every way he could.

She also knew getting to misty eyed over this would make him even more flustered. So instead her grin turned into a smile and she leaned forward pressing her lips to his.

"I want to," she said simply when she pulled back. Her eyes focused on his, hoping he would know everything she was feeling about this gesture. "Thank you."

He smiled a small smile and Caroline extended out her foot, gently rubbing it up and down his calf. It was solid and scratchy and it tickled the bottom of her foot. "You know you're pretty good at this husband stuff so far," she said teasingly. He grinned, the nervousness gone, the lines of confidence etched on his handsome face.

He leaned over his plate, angling his mouth over hers, kissing her sweetly and softly. "Well when you're passionate about something, you put everything you can into it." He said sounding a little bit like a sound bite.

"And you're passionate about the institute of marriage?" she asked, his lips traveling down her neck.

Sid pulled back, his gaze intense. "I'm passionate about you. The married part is an added bonus."

She held his face in her hands and kissed him soundly, her lips drinking him in, her tongue slipping out to find his in the recess of his mouth. After a few moments she pulled back and asked, "So are you going to take me upstairs or what?"

Sid smiled wide, "Too much work." And with that he pulled her out of her chair and spun her, until her back hit the edge, with ease he lifted her onto the marble surface and pulled off her t-shirt in one easy motion. "By the way, you're no slouch in the wife department either." He growled, his mouth diving into her neck, his tongue and teeth teasing the soft skin.

"Such a romantic," she teased, her arms wrapping around him and pulling him into her.

"I love you Mrs. Crosby," he replied softly.

Caroline let the gooey feeling wash over her. "I love you too."

* * *

The ensuing weeks flew by. The move went smoothly and Caroline was enjoying her new role at school and life as "queen WAG" was definitely a full time job. She was able to attend games and sign up for fundraisers. New players, meant new WAG members and while most of these women were not the type Caroline would have ever pictured befriending either growing up or now, there was a bond. The understanding that they all were going through the same thing. It was a strange world, but Caroline continued to find her place. She helped new players' families feel more welcome by inviting them over for dinner and arranging activities with the new WAGS like shopping or pedicures. In some ways it was very shallow, but in other ways it helped her and the newcomers feel some sort of normalcy and belonging. It seemed with each passing day, her to do list got longer rather than shorter. There were visits to the DMV and the doctor's office, now that she had new health insurance. She picked up Sid's dry cleaning twice a week and insisted on doing the grocery shopping. She kept the house tidy and Eliot the cat was home now after spending the summer at Sara's. It was funny how full her days were. The speed of this life could be overwhelming. It seemed like there was never any time to just stand still and take it all in. But she wouldn't want it any other way. Life as Caroline Crosby, as her driver's license now said, was not the life she had envisioned, but it was more than she could have ever hoped for.

 _***Author's note: Ughhhhhhh, Im so sorry. Life has literally been insane the past few months. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me. Back into a groove and hoping to move along quicker with this...actions speak louder than words, so here's hoping! Feedback is always appreciated. Go Pens!***_


	4. Chapter 4: Steubenville

His mother was sitting at the kitchen table with a man he didn't recognize. It took only a few seconds to figure out he was a doctor. He had that look. Superiority mixed with curiosity. As if by being a medical professional, his ego kept him from getting only a little star struck by a celebrity. Although, Sid still had trouble accepting that label. Put him in the middle of South Carolina and nobody gave him a second glance.

"Honey," his mom said, coming to her feet. He felt Caroline withdraw and move to the side, as his mother pulled him into a hug. Considering he'd seen her only last night, she seemed overly happy to see him. That should have been his first warning.

He put his arm around his mother, his palm covering her back in a half hug, his gaze still on the silver haired man in the shirt and tie fiddling with some folders.

Trina pulled back and her gaze went to Caroline, her eyes surprised, but her face forming a small smile.

"Hello, Caroline."

Caroline just nodded.

"Mr. Crosby," the doctor now stood and walked towards him, extending out his hand.

Sid took it.

"Dr. Becker, it's a pleasure. My son is a big fan."

Sid smiled warily, "Please call me Sid."

The doctor's smile seemed forced but he continued, "Well Sid, I'm sure your doctors gave you some indication of why I'm here, but I was hoping we could do some tests here to further diagnose."

Diagnose what, he thought?

The doctor must have sensed his confusion, because he tried his best to give a conciliatory look.

"There are some issues that need to be addressed, the hospital staff and your family," Dr. Becker gestured to Caroline and his parents.

Sid glanced at them, his mother gave a watery smile, while his dad showed no emotion. Caroline, had her gaze fixed to the floor.

He turned back to the doctor who hadn't stopped talking, "...a series of tests, here in the comfort of your home. Why don't we go into your study?"

He'd thought by discharged everything was ok. Or at least ok enough to go home. There were some symptoms he was exhibiting and he knew some of the staff from the team was going to stop by later to discuss protocol. He was going to go through the whole process again. A familiar feeling he wished to god he didn't have to feel again. But this doctor, the tone of the room. It was like he was missing something. But when he tried to think about it, everything was jumbled up.

Troy spoke and broke Sid from his trance.

"Son, Dr. Becker is among the best. He's going to help us," his father's voice was strangely gentle.

Sid looked at Caroline.

"Can my wife come with me?" he asked. Caroline's gaze shot from the floor, up to his, surprise written all over her face.

There was something else though. She looked almost...guilty.

"For the first session I'd like it to be just us." Dr. Becker replied smoothly. "But in future sessions, sure, she'd be welcome to join us."

Sid was dazed by all this and suddenly felt very tired. But obediently he turned towards the direction of the room off the kitchen and gestured for the doctor to follow.

"Thank you," Trina's voice was quiet as she turned to Caroline. "We just want to help him get better and I know you can help."

Caroline stared at the wall behind Trina. The wall of schedules. Where she and Sid had crafted their system, their blueprint for making this crazy life work. Now it was just his schedule. Her color coding system was gone. A messy scrawl covered the calendar. Bits of notes and torn paper scattered haphazardly across the cork board.

She stared at that wall.

"He doesn't remember," she said hollowly.

Caroline then looked at Trina's sorrowful face. "I don't understand it." She replayed outside's exchange through her mind. She was at a loss for words. The way he'd acted. Touched her, looked at her. All the hurt, the betrayal, the angry words, they didn't exist in his world. And it was like they were clean again. Pure. And it was a feeling she ached for. A feeling that she'd known would never come. She was so sure he'd never look at her the same way after he'd found out. That night last Christmas. It had all ended. And she'd known then that he was done. Done with her. And to be honest, she had been done too. It was just too hard. And now here she was in this house and he had looked at her, like he'd looked at her before. And it wasn't real. Because the doctor would fix him. She hadn't triggered anything. Whatever Trina had hoped Caroline could do, hadn't happened. Outside there was no remembering. It was instead this strange alternate universe.

"I'm sorry Caroline." Trina said softly. "I didn't want to hurt you. I just want him to be ok. And I hoped you could help."

"But if I had helped. If this had work, or does end up working, what do I get? Him hating me all over again? This family going back to not wanting anything to do with me?"

"I thought you could maybe work it out," her mother in law replied. "If he'd remembered you would be here and you could talk."

Troy made a noise that Caroline couldn't decipher but knew was unkind. Did she want to work things out? To pretend the last year hadn't happened? To feel that shine of his love illuminated on her again?

God she wanted that. So badly. But this was her reality. And even something as off the wall as amnes...memory loss wasn't going to change that.

"I don't see how that is going to work." Caroline said sadly.

"He's miserable." Trina's voice was barely a whisper.

"Trina," Troy said warningly.

Trina looked at her husband defiantly, "Well he is. And you know it. We all know it. He isn't the same anymore. And I'm not talking what's going on here. He's not himself. He hasn't been in a long time and she needs to know that."

Trina's words echoed in her head. If he was miserable, he did a pretty good job of hiding it. After she'd left, everything changed for him. He broke out of his slump. He went on a scoring run. He won the Stanley Cup. She'd seen that look on his face.

Pure joy.

Miserable, she scoffed to herself.

Yeah right. He had no idea what miserable wa-

The sound of shouting broke her from her thoughts. In an instant, the door to the study was wrenched open and out came Sid, full steam ahead. His face was contorted in fury as he charged towards her.

Oh god. Her stomach dropped.

He remembered.

* * *

He remembered.

"Aunt Patty brings the pumpkin pie that I have to have two slices of or she'll be insulted. And Aunt Peggy's apple pie is the one to stay away from." He said with a confident grin. "I spent the whole flight home studying."

Caroline returned the grin, "I'm impressed."

It was Thanksgiving morning and the two were in Sid's Range Rover heading west towards Steubenville. The newlyweds would be spending American Thanksgiving with Caroline's family and extended family. And while nearly all of them had been at the wedding, Sid hadn't gotten much time to get to know them properly.

Also the visit was exciting for him, as it was his first time to Caroline's childhood home and he was eager to see where she'd grown up.

The car was packed with rolls and wine and Caroline was grilling Sid on family facts as they traveled across the 22 highway.

"Relax," Sid said, reaching over to intertwine his fingers with Caroline's, although he had to unravel them from each other as she sat fidgeting and wringing her hands in her obvious stress.

When successful, he gave her hand a squeeze in support.

"I'm not nervous," she said quickly. Then cast a look at the skepticism on Sid's face.

"Ok, a little anxious maybe," she conceded. "I just want things to go well."

"They will," he gave her a toothy smile that put her at ease.

It was overcast and cold, but the interior of the car was warm, light music playing in the background. Her husband looked handsome as always. The collared shirt unbuttoned at his neck, his jeans dark and pressed. His hair was a little long, his face clean shaven and flushed with amusement.

"It's only for the day and plus, I'm kind of good at this type of stuff." He boasted.

Boastful or not, it was true. He was really good with families. He balanced the right amount of interest and conversation. Sure there were situations where he felt awkward and mostly counted on the boisterous conversations of friends or teammates to carry the social interactions, but this kind of stuff he could do. Plus he was happy to see Caroline's family.

They were his family now too.

In less than 45 minutes they were there.

Mr. and Mrs. Reid came out to greet them. Hugs all around, as they ushered he and Caroline into the large two story yellow house with a large porch.

Once inside, it was a bevy of excitement. Aunts and Uncles, cousins, neighbors, the house was filled with the warm scents of fall and a tv in the corner tuned to football.

Everyone embraced him warmly, genuinely pleased to see him. They asked about the drive and commented on how well they looked. Some mentioned how much they enjoyed coming to Nova Scotia for the wedding and they asked what he wanted to drink. No one seemed star struck or even tongue tied by his presence. It wasn't a cocky thought. It was a realistic one. But instead they treated him quite normally. They swarmed his wife too. Asking her questions a mile a minute about how she was doing. Caroline smiled warmly and answered with brief but meaningful responses. It didn't take long for her to be swept into the kitchen and Sid was left in the living room with a circle of men, now settling into their seats and turning their attention to the game.

"Sid, sit son." Mr. Reid gestured to the seat beside him.

Sid obediently sat and quickly his attention turned to the game as well.

During a commercial break he looked around the living room. The walls were lined with bookcases. A mixture of books, framed photographs and odds and ends filled the shelves. His eye caught photos of Caroline throughout her growing up. There was a photo of her as a young girl. Her eyes cast down on a giant slice of watermelon she held in her hands, the sun casting a glow behind her. There was a family portrait where she was twelve or thirteen, wearing a jean jumper with her hair big and curly surrounding her small features. Her grin full of metal, her eyes bright with that look she still had and that he loved so much.

"Sid, see if there are more chips," Mr. Reid said holding up the bowl, his eyes glued to the screen.

Clearly there was no ego in this house.

Dutifully Sid took the bowl and wandered towards the kitchen.

Mrs. Reid was busy at the counter, while the other women sat at the kitchen table talking animatedly. At first he didn't see Caroline. But then over on the other side of the kitchen he saw her talking to a woman who looked to be the same age. In her arms was an infant that she was balancing from arm to arm. Then he watched as the woman transferred the baby into Caroline's arms. He watched as she bit her lip in a mix of worry and concentration. Her arms moved into a cradling position and soon that look of worry turned into something else.

Pure joy.

Her face softened and her smile widened as she held the bundled child carefully.

It was an image that threw him and punched him in the gut.

Everything about their relationship had been expedited. Dating, commitment, marriage. But children, he'd figured that was way down the road. Not until he was at least 30 he'd always told himself. His life was too insane to bring a child into the world. Especially because he wanted to be involved as much as possible. That was hard when you spent as much time on the road as he did. He saw how some of the guys did it. How they made it work. Always it was because of their wives and how good they were at managing family with a husband living a nomadic life two thirds of the year. They were amazing women and he had no doubt Caroline would be just as amazing. Still he hadn't thought about kids, but watching her now, there was a pang. An ache. A feeling so strange and yet so comforting that it made him stop. Stop and watch.

Her. And see the family they would have. The one they would create together.

"How are you doing dear?"

Caroline's mother broke Sid from his epiphany/stupor.

Her looked away from his wife to his mother-in-law. She smiled at him kindly, just as she always did. Her eyes flickered to the bowl sitting in his hands.

"Do you need more snacks?" she asked.

Sid still working to clear his mind nodded silently, then found his voice.

"Yeah, sorry, are there any more chips?"

Mrs. Reid took the bowl from his hands and started to refill it. Sid felt an arm come around his waist and look over to see Caroline looking up at him with curiosity.

"How are you doing?" she asked, the tinge of tentativeness noticeable.

"Good," he replied, "You?"

She smiled, "Good. Lots to catch up on." Caroline looked over her shoulder, "My old neighbor stopped by, she just had a baby over the summer, so everyone is going gaga over it." She tried to sound nonchalant, but he noticed a pink blush stain her neck.

They'd only been married a few months, the subject of kids hadn't come up. The conversation of kids would be had, he wondered if now it would come sooner than he thought.

Turns out it came even sooner than that. Because not even an hour later when they'd all sat down to dinner, after the endless passing of bowls and platters, after Sid looked down at his impressive and coloring mound of Thanksgiving favorites and was all set to dig in, Aunt Patty spoke up. Or was it Aunt Peggy?

"So you two, when will you be starting a family? I know my sister is dying to become a grandmother and Caroline, you're not getting any younger."

Sid nearly choked on his green bean casserole. Caroline looked mortified.

She glanced at Sid, then at her aunt, "I'm only 27."

"That's the perfect age to start a family." Aunt Patty/Peggy persisted.

"Pat," Caroline's mother spoke up and the table had become uncomfortably quiet. "Leave them alone, they will make that decision when they are ready."

Aunt Patty looked affronted. "I don't think its a strange question to ask."

Sidney smiled at Aunt Patty, "Well, you'll be the first to know when it happens."

Caroline stifled a laugh, while Aunt Patty gave a curious look, not sure if he was joking or not.

"Pat," Mr. Reid interjected, "Aren't you going down to Orlando for New Years, to see cousin Ruth?"

And with that the conversation switched over to Aunt Patty's trip and the table noise grew with new conversations picking up.

Sid and Caroline were saved and Sid had never been so grateful to his father-in-law.

He looked over to Caroline, her face was tomato red. Sid reached under the table and ran his hand up and down her thigh. Caroline looked at him gratefully, her hand covering his, holding in gently. It lasted only a few moments, but it seemed to settle them both down.

* * *

The snow started just as dessert was the large bay window in the living room, they watched as the flakes came down big and beautifully. But then it got heavier and heavier. By the end of dessert, Mr. Reid had the television tuned to the Weather Channel and the forecast of 2-4 inches, turned to 8-10. The roads were slick the weatherman reported and people were urged to stay off the roads unless it was an emergency.

It was then decided Sid and Caroline would spend the night and drive home in the morning. At first, he felt put out by this, but then realized they'd be spending the night in Caroline's childhood room and the pervy part of him got a little bit excited.

Her bedroom was like a time capsule. Posters on the wall, a frilly pink bedspread on the size double bed. Certificates and ribbons wallpapered a corner of her room where the desk was. Sid looked around, while Caroline went to fetch towels and extra toothbrushes. There were posters of horses and pop stars. A number of trophies sat on a bookshelf, along with pictures of Caroline and who Sid assumed to be a young Philip, stood arm in arm. They wore bowling shirts that read the Ohio Valley Strikers.

It was like a Caroline museum and he was intrigued.

"You know," Caroline's voice interjected his perusal. "You're the first boy I've ever had in my room, well except for Philip," she said teasingly.

Her turned around and watched her put down the towel and toiletries. She looked amused and bashful at the same time.

Sid walked towards her, a predatory look in his eye.

"Good, because otherwise I would be very jealous."

"Well, I mean between the bowling trophies and horse posters, I don't understand why a guy wouldn't be interested, but luckily for you, no reason to be jealous whatsoever."

Sid drew her into his arms and pulled his wife flush to him. "You do realize how turned on this whole scenario makes me?"

Caroline flushed as he pressed his hips into her, "Unfortunately, I don't have any cheerleading uniform to put on for you. All I've got is an old bowling shirt," she giggled, snuggling into his embrace.

"I could make that work," he replied, his mouth moving to the warm soft skin of her neck.

Caroline just laughed, "Yeah not going to happen, that thing is way too small."

"Even better." He mumbled against her skin.

Caroline shuddered, pressing herself into him.

Her head lifted, her mouth seeking his.

Their kiss was tender and light. Her lips moving against his, her mouth opening and her tongue reaching out to taste him. He reciprocated, eager to taste her as well.

She tasted of chai tea and pumpkin pie.

After a few moments she pulled away.

"Sid, lock the door," her voice a little bit breathless.

He did as he was told and when he turned around, she'd arranged herself on her bed.

She gave him that look, that take me now look, and he didn't waste any time.

They pawed at each other. Clothes discarded, bodies pressing against one another.

Both were quiet but determined and when he'd finally slid into her, the heels of her feet pressed powerfully at the back of his thighs, drawing him deeper into her.

They found their rhythm, she clung to him as he rocked into her.

"I love you," she whispered into his ear as his fingers sought the hot heat of folds. His thumb pressing against her clitoris.

He felt her swallow a shout as he worked his hips and fingers until she came apart in his arms. Clutching him, Caroline shattered beneath him and a moment later he followed.

"I love you too," he breathed, his lips pressing against her sweaty temple.

After a moment of regulating their breathing, they shimmied under the covers of her bed and turned off the bedside light.

Caroline laid her head against the hard planes of his chest, her legs tangling into his.

They didn't say anything for a while.

Finally she spoke, "In the spirit of the holiday, I should thank you for dealing with my family. My aunt has no filter."

"She doesn't hold back, that's for sure," he said lightly.

Caroline rearranged herself, pulling herself onto her side, facing him.

She stared at him, her eyes big and brown, her gaze unwavering.

"I guess we haven't really had 'the talk'."

Sid pressed his forehead against hers. "Caroline," he said seriously. "I know what sex is."

She laughed and swatted at him, "Not that talk, dummy. You know what I mean."

"I do," he replied, his thumb rubbing across her cheek.

"It's a big deal. And there are still things I want to do. Time I want just for us. I don't know if it's selfish, but I like it as just you and me. At least for now. And with hockey...I know everyone finds a way to make it work, but…" she trailed off.

"I'm in no rush. When it's time, we'll know," he replied.

She smiled, "Exactly."

His eyes flickered over her face, "You'll make a great mom, Care."

Her eyes got bright as color washed onto her face.

"And you'll make an amazing father, Sid." Caroline leaned in and brushed her lips against his.

Sid deepened the kiss then pulled away, "So we can agree we are both pretty awesome people, eh?"

The burst of laughter fell from her lips, "Yes, I suppose we can."

"Good, now that we are in agreement, how about finding that bowling shirt?"

 _***Author's note: Life is crazy, since I last updated I have gotten a new job and been dealing with the stress of my sick cat. It's not an excuse but an explanation. I've been in and out of vet offices for the past two months and I'm afraid I will have to put her to sleep this week. That stress, along with the new job has put me in a state of anxiety and I've struggled with my writing. This story is never out of my mind and I hope that as life settles down again and I reach some peace with my pet, I can refocus myself. Thank you for reading. You all keep me motivated, even though I am moving like molasses with this story. Will try to do better! Go Pens!***_


	5. Chapter 5: Questions and Answers

It was the picture on the desk that did it. Dr. Becker was thumbing through papers making idle chit chat when Sid saw it. In a 5x7 gold frame. A photograph of his mother, his father, Taylor and him. On the ice. Celebrating in the way he'd once knew. A celebration that had taken place only once, so many years ago. Their smiles not even close to telling the story of elation the family felt. But there was something wrong with this picture. Taylor was older. His beard, still mangy, was fuller. And that wasn't Joe Louis arena, those weren't disappointed Red Wings fans in the background. Teal and black speckled in the stands. And the crest of a shark although blurry in the background still recognizable.

He blinked a few times. Confused. He tried to think about when this had happened. Not last year. Last year they'd lost to the Rangers in five games. That had been a mess. The team was a mess. They couldn't score. It had been a rough year for him. But that was last year...right?

"When is this from?" he asked, snatching the photo in front of him.

Dr. Becker stopped droning on about his golf handicap and looked at the framed photo and then Sid with concern.

"Oh, I'm not sure."

"Bullshit, when is this from?" Sid's voice got louder, he felt his body begin to shake. Anxiety building. He kept trying to think but his head was all fuzzy. He could see broken images, hear snippets of sounds, but nothing concrete.

"Sid, you need to calm down." Dr. Becker said evenly, a forced smile on his face. Sid had seen those types of smiles thousands of times. It was a side effect of living in what could sometimes be a vapid world.

"When is this from? Last year?" Sid was shouting now, he stared at the picture willing it to give him the memories that lay just out of reach in a murky darkness..

"Let's just talk," Dr. Becker said calmly.

Sid's stomach dropped. Something was wrong. Something they weren't telling him.

He rose from his seat and was out of the office in an instant.

His mother and father stood in the kitchen, looking at Caroline uncomfortably.

They all turned to look at him as he came charging forward.

He raised the framed photograph.

"When is this from?" He asked again, to his new audience.

"Son," Troy began. He didn't continue, he seemed at a loss for words.

Sid felt frantic. Every time he tried to think his memories became more and more cloudy. A piercing shot from behind his eyes. He tried to blink the pain away.

"I don't understand," his voice was quieter, the rage simmering but he suddenly was so tired. And the pain in his head only seemed to intensify.

He looked at Caroline. He eyes were bright and he wanted so much for her to tell him what was going on. She was his wife. His partner, his teammate. He needed her to tell him what was happening to him. But he couldn't say the words anymore. The world was closing in on him.

He didn't realize that his legs had buckled until he felt his father's arms come around him, saving him from collapsing on the tiled floor.

He could hear his mother's cries, they were far away, distorted. He blinked over and over trying to push out the pain. Manage it, but he felt so tired. His limbs limp, his muscles weak and worn out.

"Please," his voice hoarse, his vision now so blurry. "I just don't understand." His words slurred until a blackness overcame him and there was nothing.

* * *

He came to in quiet darkness. He was disoriented at first, the pain was gone but it took him a few seconds to figure out he was in his bedroom. The curtains were drawn, they were the blackout ones useful for his afternoon naps on game day. And the peak of sunlight illuminating the edges of the dark fabric helped him as his eyes adjusted the dark.

He sat up and saw a profile silhouetted in the doorway.

Caroline.

"I brought you a glass of water," she said softly. She came into the room, a glass in one hand and her other hand fisted. "Some advil too. Dr. Becker said it was ok. He left. Your dad called the team, they're sending some of the team doctors this afternoon. They want you to get some rest." She walked towards him as she spoke. She looked worried and worn out, but there was something else. The way she spoke to him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

She sat on the edge of the bed, he'd pulled himself in a seated position and reached out to accept the pills and the water. He downed them in a swift motion, the cool water satiating his thirst.

They were silent for a moment. Then he spoke.

"I've never felt this before. I mean there were times, in the past, when I'd gotten hit I would be dazed. Sometimes it would take me a second to remember the day of the week or what I'd had for dinner the night before. But it didn't last. I mean, last time. When it had been bad I had the headaches, the disorientation. But this...Care, I don't get it. The memories are there. But when I try to think of what's happened, it just jumbled. And it...it scares me." His voice was quiet. There were things he could tell her, that he couldn't tell anyone else. He knew she would understand. That she wouldn't think less of him as an athlete or a person.

"I know," she said finally. Her voice soft and familiar. "You're going to be ok...you're going to remember and it will be okay." Her voice changed as she spoke. It became strangled, pained almost.

Sid looked at her, she stared at the bedspread, her fingers playing with the pattern. She seemed so far away.

"We won the cup again?" he asked partly because he was so desperate to know what had happened and also because the air in the room had changed and he needed to focus on something else.

Caroline nodded, "This past June, against the Sharks in San Jose."

Sid closed his eyes, begging the memories to come back. But they didn't. His head didn't hurt like it had earlier, but the anxiety, the frustration was still there.

His leg bounced like a nervous tick and the flow of nerves made him antsy.

In a quick move he was off the bed and began to pace the room. For so many years, he had dreamt of lifting the cup again. He ached for that feeling. The elation, the accomplishment, the opportunity to silence the critics that only seemed to grow in volume as each year passed. Year after year, disappointment after disappointment and it had finally happened again. And he couldn't remember any of it.

"It's not fair," his voice was petulant. "It's fucking not fair. Every time I try to remember any of it, it's just blurry images and muffled sounds." He knew he sounded like a whiny kid, but he also knew that he could unload like this in front of her. She wouldn't judge him.

He continued to pace and ramble, to her but also to himself.. "Who did we beat to get there, how did we turn it around? Duper was done for the season, we got Sully. I remember that. Things were bad though...jesus, how many games did we do it in? Who did I give the cup to? Why can't I remember?" He could feel the desperation grow, the helplessness that he hated, so so much. The feeling of something that he couldn't control. As he paced he could feel it beginning to consume him, drowning him in self pity. He slammed his palm against the oak dresser, the noise echoing in the dark stillness of the room.

"Trevor Daley." Caroline said softly. "His mom was sick, she wanted to see him raise the cup, so you gave it to him first. You won in six games, in San Jose. After last Christmas…" she stopped, then cleared her throat. "After last Christmas, everything turned around and you just kept winning. You won MVP and the Pens were the champs." She finished matter of factly.

"You saw me raise the cup?" He asked, sounding like a little kid. He looked at her, peace blossoming in his chest.

She looked up at him. Her eyes bright like they'd been earlier. She chewed at her bottom lip and nodded. "I saw you raise the cup."

In an instant he was next to her, without a second thought he pulled her into his arms, his mouth crashing against her. The feelings. There were so many and for now he just needed to consume her.

His hands were on her face, his lips moving over her surprised ones. He kissed her, his mouth opening, the tip of his tongue tracing her lips, seeking entry. At first she was still. And then her mouth relaxed and her lips parted slightly. It was all he needed to delve his tongue into her mouth, so that he could drink her in.

His actions were desperate. Needy but demanding. His hand moved from her cheek, to her chest. His palm covering her breast as he pushed himself further towards her.

She arched into him, her body always reacting to his touch. Her mouth didn't move as fast or aggressive but she was accepting of his actions, welcoming him like she always did.

His hand moved from her breast to the seam of her legs, his mouth never stopping from tasting her. Maybe it was because of his jumbled memories or because she'd been out of town for a few days, but it felt like he hadn't kissed her in forever. His fingers moved deftly and worked at the button on her jeans, eager to find the heat between her legs. But as he did, the taste of her kisses became salty. And a hand was pushing his hand away.

He pulled back and saw the tears sliding down her cheeks. Her mouth was swollen and red from his kisses and her eyes, her eyes looked devastated.

"Caroline. Are you, alri-I mean, I know things have been strained lately… or before..." He didn't know what else to say. So instead he pressed his mouth to her wet hot cheeks, the saltiness of her tears stinging his lips. He reached for her hand, intertwining her fingers in his.

But Caroline pulled her hand back as if she'd been burned. She stood, looking disoriented herself.

"You need to rest. The doctors will be here soon. I have to run some errands. I have a lunch thing." She was talking fast, wiping quickly at her cheeks, mustering some sort of smile that looked more like a grimace. "Rest, please Sid. I'll see you...I'll, uh, see you later."

He watched her turn and hurry out the room. Sid ignored the feeling of dread that was growing in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right. In fact, everything was wrong. But his eyes felt heavy and his brain didn't have time to process the thoughts as the comfort of the bed pulled him back into a heavy sleep.

* * *

It was just too comfortable to get out of bed. It was the third week of December and winter had officially arrived.

Caroline snuggled deeper into the covers, the darkness of the room indicating the early hour. She didn't look at the clock on the nightstand, she would just be disappointed at how close it was to her and Sid's alarm going off. Most days they woke up at the same time, with the exception of late games or nights he came back from being on the road. But this morning was a typical morning. She had her last day of school before winter break and Sid just had practice then tonight was the team Christmas party. She loved this time of year, but with life being so busy she was exhausted and behind in her shopping. And with the cold, she just wanted to stay in bed all day long. And with her handsome new husband, it would be an early Christmas present she'd happily enjoy. So instead of looking at the clock, she just turned and sought out the bulky warmth of said handsome new husband. She scooted until she bumped in the soft worn t-shirt stretched across his muscled back. Snuggling up to Sid, she sighed against his warm body, her bare legs bumping up against his. She didn't want to wake him, but she was very interested in using him for a heater and finding a few more moments of sleep before morning came.

She felt him stir, his body automatically turning towards her and pulling her into his arms. Caroline eagerly slid into his body, her head burrowed in his chest, her hips flexing into his, welcoming Sid's morning glory. He didn't seem to wake, or if he did, it was only for a moment to get comfortable before sleep drew him back in. Caroline had learned sleeping with another person on a near daily basis was an adjustment and while she liked the space their king bed afforded them, she was all about morning snuggles as she liked to call them, no matter how nauseatingly sweet it sounded. Satisfied with this arrangement, the lure of sleep pulled her in as well.

About an hour later the alarm went off and she felt Sid move as his arm stretched out to silence the alarm. He was not a snooze guy. No, her husband, the poster child for self discipline, never snoozed. He was up when his alarm told him to be up. Caroline on the other hand was typically slow to wake and slow to get out bed, especially with a body pillow like Sidney Crosby.

The outstretched arm came back around her, his palm covered her bottom as he pulled her close, "Time to get up." Sid mumbled into her hair.

Caroline rubbed her cheek against his chest, "Can we have a sick day?" she asked. Really latching onto the not getting out of bed idea.

Sid laughed, his chest moving against her cheek.

"Are you sick?" he asked.

"Well, no." Caroline replied, snuggled deeper into his embrace, "But no one is ever actually sick when they take a sick day. Well, unless they are really sick. But that's besides the point," she yawned, her argument was flawed, but she really did just want to lay in bed all day and do deliciously naughty things to her husband. So she tried a new angle, "How about a spend all day in bed satisfying my husband in as many ways as he'd like day instead?" She wiggled her hips against his in an effort to plead her case.

He made a sound that sounded very much like a growl and his hand came to grip her hip and pull her into him. "Now you're not playing fair." His sleepy eyes gazed down on hers. "Would you settle for a shower?"

"Together?" she asked. He nodded with sly smile.

Caroline pretended to think, then smiled, "Yes, I suppose I could."

He pulled her from the bed and into the bathroom. His gaze steady on hers as his large hands pulled her nightgown up and over her head. Goosebumps flared up and down her arms and shoulders and she watched him begin to disrobe.

"This is good motivation for getting out of bed," she breathed.

He gave a cocky grin, his nether regions at full attention, "I know."

Garfield Elementary was buzzing with the anticipation of winter break. Caroline had trouble getting her students to focus. And to be honest, she was already in vacation mode too. She and Sid were spending Christmas, just the two of them. A mini honeymoon of sorts. They'd seen their families for their respective Thanksgiving celebrations, this Christmas is was just going to be the two of them, only Sid was being tight lipped about where they were going. She was excited for the break, even if he only got a few days off. She only had a few more students to see and then she would be free.

But in between sessions, when Caroline had a few minutes to plan her next student visit a wave of nausea hit her like a ton of bricks. She moved fast, out into the hallway and down to the staff lounge bathroom.

She barely made it.

The contents of her breakfast came up and out her so quickly she felt dizzy.

She sat on the floor few a minutes collecting herself and making sure there wasn't more to expel.

Shakily she stood and went to the sink to wash her face and smooth down her hair.

A feeling of dread settled inside of her. She hoped this wasn't what she thought it was. Getting the flu right before winter break? She'd been tired lately, she must have caught a bug from one of her students. She'd skipped getting a flu shot and now she was regretting her decision. The Penguins party was tonight and she didn't want to miss that, not to mention their special secret excursion. Now that she'd thrown up, she felt tired and headachey. She decided to take the rest of the day and go home to lie down. Hopefully a nap would do the trick and by early evening she would be alright.

She pulled out her cell and texted Sid.

 _Not feeling well. Heading home to lie down before party._

A few moments later her phone dinged.

 _You really wanted that sick day, huh? ;)_

Caroline laughed to herself.

 _Ha, ha. I threw up. I'm ok, but I'm hoping it isn't a bug._

Her phone dinged again.

 _Sorry, bad joke. Do you need anything?_

 _No, I'll be fine. See you at home. Love you._ She responded.

 _Love you too. Feel better._

* * *

"The flu? Are you sure it's not something else?" Veronique shifted baby Estelle from one hip to the other.

It was hours later. Caroline was sitting on the Penguins bench at center ice watching the families and friends of the team skate across the rink. She'd opted out of skating, the nausea had stopped but despite her two and half hour nap, she still felt so tired. Luckily Veronique was keeping her company while their husbands skated around playing games and getting into mischief with some of the older kids.

"Something else?" Caroline asked confused.

Veronique looked down towards Caroline's middle, then back at her friend, her eyes gleaming.

"You know," her voice kind and soft, thick with her accent. "Enceinte."

Caroline was still lost.

"A baby…" Veronique finally said.

Caroline blinked a few times.

A baby.

No.

"No, that's not possible. I'm on birth control." She suddenly felt her palms become clammy.

Vero gave her a knowing look, "That's not always a 100%"

Caroline looked out at the rink, at the crowd of people moving this way and that.

"Yes it is. I mean, it's supposed to be. That's the whole point.I take a pill everyday, so that I don't get...preg…" She couldn't even say the word.

"Everyday?" Vero pressed. "Not one slip?"

Caroline shook her head. "No, not even when I switched prescriptions."

"Switched prescriptions?"

Caroline nodded, "When I got on Sid's health insurance. I went to a new doctor. She prescribed me a new birth control that was under their plan. But I didn't miss a day. So no, I can't be pregnant. I'm sure its just a bug. I mean, I feel better already."

Vero just gave her friend a sympathetic look. Clearly Caroline was overwhelmed by the possibility of being pregnant.

"Ok, Im sure its just a bug," Vero replied. "But it wouldn't hurt to take a test."

Caroline gave a wave of her hand. "It's really not necessary, but I appreciate the advice"

Veronique bounced baby Estelle on her lap, causing the little one to laugh. "You know it's not so bad, motherhood." She cupped her fingers around her daughter's chubby cheek, feeling the softness. It changes you, it changes everything."

Caroline stared at Estelle, taking in the curious wonder on the baby's face.

The two friends turned their attention back to the ice. Caroline watched Sid come into view. He was playing tug of war with a hockey stick against Dan's son. The little Bylsma gave a tug and Sid pretended to fall to the ice. She watched the exchange and couldn't define what was she feeling.

Changes everything.

That was what she was afraid of.

 _***Author's note: This has been a rough month for me. My cat passed away a few days after my last update. I've been quite overwhelmed with my new job and paired with my pet's passing I have just been all over the place mentally and emotionally. Thank you for sticking with me. Obviously I wish I was more along with this story, I did not anticipate going so long between updates but as always I will try to improve on that front. The story is moving along and with each chapter I hope more questions will be answered (hence the title). Hoping for the best that the team does well in the playoffs. I was able to go to a game this past month for my birthday and I couldn't get over how many people are out. So fingers crossed in the postseason. Go Pens!***_


	6. Chapter 6: The Christmas Present Part I

Down the steps she ran. She had to get out of there.

Fast.

At the bottom of the steps stood Troy and Trina. Concern on their faces. Caroline could barely give them a second glance.

"I have to go," she choked out, rushing past them.

"You'll come back?" Trina asked, her voice pleading.

Caroline didn't answer, she had to leave, before she fell completely apart.

She hurried to her car, her hand digging into her bag, her fingers frantically searching for the keys.

She found them. Got in the car. Pulled out of the driveway and onto the quiet road. She made a few turns until she came to the familiar clearing. The small park, rarely used up in the hills of Sewickley. It had been her retreat. And she welcomed the desolation.

With trembling hands she put the car in park.

And just in time too. The tears came fast and they came hard. Her body shook as the waves of anguish had her gulping for air.

Her hands gripped the steering wheel and she cried until her ribs hurt and her lungs burned. Moans of anguish filled the car, sounds of the loss and pain that had resurfaced.

So easily.

The taste of his mouth on her lips. The imprint of his touch still hot on her skin. And the devastation of it all thundering through her body.

She cried until there were no more tears left. Then she caught her breath, wiped her eyes. And then she drove.

She drove around for a few hours. Aimlessly. Nowhere to go. She wanted to clear her head, but that was impossible.

She drove until the gas indicator lit up. A few miles later she turned into a gas station. She pulled out her wallet and got out the car, feeling zombie like. Out in the cold, as she swiped her card and opened the gas cap, her face felt raw and her nose was still runny. The wind whipped her dark hair around and she watched the numbers go up as the car refueled. She noticed a man staring at her. He was also pumping gas, he wore a blue jumpsuit and the sign on his van said plumbing and heating repairs. She looked away when they made eye contact. She wasn't in the best neighborhood. She hadn't really paid much attention to where she was going, but now she thought she should have been a little more concerned about her safety.

"Hey," the man called.

Caroline looked at the man. He gave a creepy smile.

"How are you, sweetie?" he asked.

Caroline should have just ignored him, but she didn't want to alienate the gray haired gentleman.

"Fine, thank you." she replied, turning her attention back to the gas pump and hoping the man moved along.

He didn't.

He returned the hose to the gas pump and walked towards her.

Caroline pulled her hose out at as well. She wasn't sure how much she'd put in but it was enough to get her home at least.

Fumbling with the hose, she watched as he came closer.

"We're worried, you know."

Caroline wasn't sure what the man meant.

"I'm sorry?"

"Sid. Everyone is worried about him."

Ah.

"Let him know that the whole city's pulling for him, 'kay?"

The man wasn't creepy. Well maybe a little, but he recognized who she was. It was a long time since that had happened.

She smiled tentatively. "Oh, um thanks."

He thumbed towards his truck and Caroline saw the Penguins sticker on the back of the van. "Tell him Sal from Sal's Plumbing and Heating is praying for him and you too..and your family."

Family. He heart pinged at what he said. Creepy or not, she appreciated his words.

"Thank you. We appreciate it." She said kindly, feeling the familiar pull of her public persona come to the surface.

The man nodded his head and turned back towards his van.

Caroline got back in her car. Quickly she found the freeway, she turned onto the on ramp, she followed the signs and headed in the direction of downtown. As she drove she saw the sign for the airport come into view. It was like a beacon of freedom from all the noise inside her head. But instead she stayed to the right and headed towards downtown.

* * *

The sign for the airport came into view and Caroline was growing more curious.

"Boston?" she asked.

Sid smiled and shook his head. She quirked her mouth to the side as she tried to think of possible destinations for their special Christmas vacation. In addition to Boston, Sid had also shook his head at Montreal, Toronto, New York City and Florida. His face had scrunched up at the thought of Florida. "For Christmas?" he'd said in disgust. "No, there will be snow where we are going. Believe me, I checked."

Caroline looked out the window at the landscape that rushed past. It was early morning on Christmas Eve. Sid had given them a hard six a.m. deadline for getting out the door. She didn't know where they were going, he wouldn't say and his eyes were lit with delight at the whole thing. They only had a couple of days for the trip, so she assumed they weren't traveling far, like Vail or Vancouver. She wondered how he was even awake. He'd crawled into bed after one a.m. coming in late from an away game in Ottawa. And she'd heard him up and moving before five o'clock. He'd had to drag her out of bed at 5:30 and the shower she'd taken barely had woken her up. Her husband on the other hand was moving steadily through the house collecting their luggage, setting timers for the lights and making sure that the automatic feeder for the cat was filled and set. Caroline blearily got dressed and barely had time to run a comb through her wet hair and pull on her boots before Sid was tapping at his watch. They were so different in that way. He moved around ticking off tasks with focus and precision, while she moved slowly, often with her head in the clouds and distracted at what exactly needed to be done. He was responsible. And disciplined. He was reliable and thorough. He wasn't forgetful or easily distracted. His focus was mind boggling and she was very grateful to reap the rewards of all his good qualities.

They were all important qualities of a partner.

They were also really great qualities of a dad.

And yesterday afternoon, after spending the morning with her arms wrapped around the toilet, she'd gone to the drug store and bought three pregnancy tests, just to be sure.

She hadn't taken them yet. She'd stared at them all afternoon. Her mind going in a thousand directions, then exhausted she'd taken a 2 ½ hour nap. When she'd woken, she'd chatted with Sid over the phone. Then began to pack. After some deliberating, she'd put the drug store bag into her suitcase and tried not to obsess over the unknown truth.

Now in the car, as the airport exit came into view and Sid turned off the freeway and towards the entrance, Caroline turned her attention back to the mystery trip. And what adventure lay before them.

It was less than a hour later that they were buckled in and preparing for takeoff on the chartered plane, when Sid handed Caroline a brochure of where they were going. He had a small stack of them actually. He'd signed up online through the tourist department website to receive some information about their destination. To be honest, he hadn't thought there would be much. But surprisingly there were a few interesting sites in the city of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Traveling that far in such a short amount of time would be exhausting, but he'd remembered on one of their first dates, Caroline said she'd always wanted to go there. And Kuni, who'd grown up in that area gave him a tip on a beautiful lake house, just 45 minutes out of town, that was available to rent, Sid had figured it was meant to be. It wasn't the most glamorous place to spend Christmas, plus he was exhausted and only had a few days of rest before the next game, but for Caroline he'd do it. For Caroline, he'd do anything.

Her eyes got wide when she looked at the brochure and realized where they were going. A giant grin spread across her face and she looked at Sid with excitement.

"Saskatoon!"

He smiled, her reaction making this totally worth it.

He nodded.

She said it again, "Saskatoon."

He laughed, "Yeah, I know."

Caroline began looking through the brochure. "I've always wanted to go there," she said in amazement.

"I know, I remembered. We talked about it -"

"- at your apartment." Caroline finished in wonder. "Last year, when we made dinner. You remembered that?"

"Of course," he said with a smile. "I remember everything." He looked at her intently, hoping she realized how much he loved her.

Her face was soft and she was looking at him the way he loved. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his.

"The best Christmas present, from the best husband." She said dreamily, her lips lingering, her warm breath sweet on his lips.

"The only husband I hope," he joked awkwardly.

She grinned, a bright pink staining her cheeks.

They settled into the take off and a few moments later he was sound asleep. The events of the last few days finally catching up with him.

* * *

He woke to her light jostling. The attendant had let them know they were only a few minutes from landing.

"Sorry," he said squirming a bit in his seat, "I didn't mean to sleep the whole way."

Caroline smiled at him with kind eyes, "It's okay, I read my book." She lifted the paperback on her lap. "Plus you needed the rest. And look, you were right," she pointed to the window, "There's snow."

He looked out the window at the white landscape below them. The ground was coming closer and closer as they made their descent.

In no time, they were on the ground. With the time change and their early departure, it wasn't even noon. There was a car waiting for them at their private terminal and snow was falling in big light flakes, swirling around them, a dance almost, welcoming them to the province of Saskatchewan.

The drive to the house was relatively simple, the long road to the cabin was snowy, but the Tahoe Sid had rented navigated the slick roads with ease.

The lake house came into view and Caroline gave a small gasp. Among the pines and in front of a small but glistening lake sat a small cabin. It was stone and wood, log cabin style. It was like something out of a cheesy Thomas Kincaid painting, but it was cozy and beautiful.

Inside was even more quaint. Wood accents, framed black and white photos of the lake the cabin sat on, a soft looking charcoal gray couch with a fuzzy rug. A giant moose head over the fireplace and decorations of Christmas all around. The kitchen was small but modern, a marble island in the center. A big box sat on the island and Sid made a sound of appreciation when he saw it.

"Oh good," he said, dropping their bags and walking towards the island. Caroline followed.

There was a note from the owners, welcoming them. Not only welcoming them, but notifying them that the fridge and pantry had been stocked with all the items Sid had requested. Caroline opened the fridge to see the shelves filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, prepared foods like scalloped sweet potatoes and macaroni and cheese. There was also a large roast that they would cook for tomorrow. On the counter were bottles of wine and a large platter of homemade Christmas cookies. It was like they had walked right into a Christmas card.

He watched as she took it all in. He was really pleased with how it all turned out the. The house was decorated for Christmas and in the corner of the living room, space had been cleared and a tree skirt and stand sat waiting to be used.

"I thought we could go out and get a Christmas tree this afternoon," he said. He pointed to the box. "Open this."

She looked at him, then the box. Grabbing a knife nearby, she sawed through the box and opened it.

He watched as she peered in and took in all the small wrapped packages.

"So, my mom got in touch with your mom and they collected some of our childhood ornaments and had them sent here, so that we could decorate our first tree together." He felt a heat creep up on his cheeks.

Caroline stood staring at the contents, then he watched as big tears pooled in her eyes then with a blink fell quickly down her cheeks.

"Care," he said worried.

She waved him away. "No, I'm okay. I love this, I just…" a small sob fell from her lips. "I'm just super emotional...and this is just. It's really wonderful." She smiled at him with wet eyes. Then she dashed over to her luggage and unzipped it, digging deep into the corner of the bag. She pull out a box and brought to him. "I got this for you...or I guess for us really."

He tore through the paper and opened the box. It was a gold frame in the shape of an ornament. The picture was of the two of them from one evening on the beach in Spain. Engraved on the ornament was, "Our First Christmas, S & C 2013." Sid held the ornament by it's red velvet ribbon.

He smiled, "I love it."

"I thought we'd end up hanging it from a houseplant or something, but a tree is so much better." She wiped her tears away and leaned towards him to capture his mouth in a kiss.

The plans were then made. They would drive into town, get their tree, have lunch and explore Saskatoon. Then the evening would be spent making dinner and decorating the tree. There was wood to build a fire and even a hot tub on the back deck. Although Caroline made a weird face about the hot tub.

The freshened up, unpacked a bit and then headed back into town.

Sid was afraid that Caroline would be a little let down by the city of Saskatoon once she saw it. It was a pleasant place, it just wasn't Vancouver or Montreal, and he'd wondered what she imagined when she'd thought of the place.

But he was completely wrong. She seemed to really love it. She commented on everything she saw with a genuine enthusiasm that made Sid look at the city in a whole new light. They found a lot selling trees and while the pickings were slim, they found a nice sized tree although missing a bunch of branches on one side. "We'll put that side in the corner." Caroline reasoned and the tree was bounded and put on top of the SUV. Sid gave the tree guy a tip and an autograph, there was no anonymity when he went up north.

The only restaurant they could find open was a small Chinese place designed mostly for take out. But there was a small table in the corner and they happily dined on beef and broccoli and orange chicken while not a single customer came in.

The rest of the afternoon was spent driving around, Caroline looked through the brochures and pointing out some notable landmarks.

By late afternoon the sun was setting. They drove around looking at the Christmas lights and then made their way back to the cabin.

Sid made a fire and set up the tree, while Caroline turned on some Christmas music and began unwrapping the ornaments sent by their mothers. She groaned at one in particular, a cardboard tree cut out with her 2nd grade school picture in the center. A mass of frizzy curls engulfed her head and she wore a wide toothless grin. Sid peered over her shoulder and looked at the photo. "Wow that hair is…" he stopped himself, as she pulled a similar type ornament of him, no older than eight or nine. He was wearing a tie and his smile showed off a very large overbite.

"I wouldn't finish that sentence, bucky," she warned amusedly.

They decided to cook the roast that evening. A large Christmas Eve meal for two and then they could snack on leftovers the next day.

With the snow falling, the cabin warm with Christmas lights and a roaring fire, they set the table and dined on their little Christmas feast. It was their own little world. In a life surrounded by people, all the time. This night, just the two of them, was a Christmas they wouldn't forget.

As they ate, Sid poured the wine and Caroline waved it off. "It will just make me sleepy," she said. "And I don't want this day to end."

For the remainder of the evening they watched Christmas movies snuggled on the couch. Caroline gazed at the Christmas tree covered in twinkling lights and the ornaments hanging from the branches, chronicling their lives all the way up to today.

Just as her eyes began to droop and she felt a yawn coming on, she felt his fingers brushing away the hair at her nape and the sweet tickle of his lips on the slope of her neck. One by one the kisses warmed her skin while sending a shiver up her spine. Her back pressed up against his front, she shifted allowing him better access.

His palms came around her waist and moved up and under her sweater, palming her warm bare skin.

"You're so soft," he whispered into her ear. She gasped and arched when his palms covered her breast, his thumbs caressing her nipples that hardened instantly under his touch.

She wiggled her bottom against his hardness that had sprung to life. And she was rewarded with a groan that fell from his lips.

Caroline turned her head to meet his lips and they kissed long and slow, savoring the taste of one another. The fire inside them both was ignited and soon they both needed more than just fiery kisses and wandering hands.

Sid pulled her down the hall and into the master bedroom. The large bed with the wood posts was waiting for them. They pawed at each other, pulling their clothes free and needing skin on skin as quickly as possible.

Onto the bed they fell, his body blanketing hers, as his fingers sought the heat between her legs. His tongue battled hers as his fingers entered her, steadily moving in and out of his wet and wanting wife. His thumb flicked at her clit as he mouth moved and took her nipple into his mouth. Just as his tongue swirled around the pebbled flesh, she bucked against him, her orgasm clenching her slick walls around his fingers and she shrieked into the quiet of the room. He held onto her as she rode out the pleasure and he was a bit surprised at how quickly she'd found her release. He looked up at her with wonder and amusement.

She looked bashful, her cheeks pink and her brow sweaty, "I, uh, they um." She was having trouble forming words. "I guess, um...my breasts are kind of sensitive."

He smiled, his lips touching a freckle on the side of her right breast.

"Sid," her voice was now husky. She pushed lightly at his shoulders and he fell onto his back.

With a predatory smile, she climbed on top of him, her body just a shadowed silhouette above him. She slid herself down his torso, the remnants of her release, coating his skin, making him slick with her scent and essence. She moved until she sat straddled on his thighs. Looking at him with a mixture of lust and mischief, she took his hard and proud erection in her hands. He fought to keep his eyes open as she ran her fingers up and down his length. A few moments later, her lips replaced her fingers as she began to take the length of him into her mouth. It took all he had not to buck his hips against her face. In and out her mouth moved over him, each time taking a little more of his solid flesh. She was eager and her enthusiasm nearly made his come right then and there. He gripped the sheets as her fingers played with his tight testicles. He watched as her head bobbed and he couldn't hold it back anymore. His hand closed around her hair and she suckled him hard, her cheeks hollowed waiting for his release. It came quickly and his hips lifted and filled mouth, which she swallowed eagerly. His chest heaved and his hand loosened around her hair. She kept his softening cock in her mouth for a little bit longer, then came up for air.

Her lips were swollen, red and ripe. Her hair a wild mess. She grinned at him, her eyes full of love and pride.

"That was…" he tried to speak, but it sounded more like a croak.

She nodded, and her hand moved over his penis bringing it back to life. She sat up, her body pink and glowing and for the first time he noticed her breasts seemed a little bit...larger.

"Sidney," he voice throaty. She so rarely called him that. "Sidney, I need you to fuck me." Along with her hand and her words, he felt his cock hardening quickly, despite his recent release.

"I'm so wet for you," she continued, her eyes hooded as she moved her hand up and down the growing erection.

He liked this Caroline. A lot. He wasn't sure what to say, so instead, he moved quickly and turned them over, she lay beneath him, staring up at him with wide eyes, anticipating his next move. He was silent as he spread her legs. Then took her hands in his and guided them to the headboard, her fingers wrapped around the wood posts. "Hang on ok?" He used a cautionary voice, "Because I'm going to fuck you. Really hard."

He watch as her eyes got really big and she swallowed noticeably. Her legs twitched with anticipation.

He kissed her. His hands covering hers. His body a mass of tight muscle poised over her.

Caroline spread her legs wider and she whispered to him, her face so close to his. "Please, now."

She needn't say more. He surged into her. The hot lava walls of his body welcoming him, pulling him into her. He watched her accept the length of him, then he began to piston in and out of her. Caroline bounced beneath him as his rhythm picked up speed. His muscles worked to allowed him to surge and retreat over and over and he felt his hips snap into hers as her body took his entire length and the head of his cock pushed directly on the spot that made her see stars. With the leverage of the headboard he was able to push and pull, in and out, hitting that spot over and over, Caroline unable to contain her moans and gasps, soon turned to shrieks and squeals as she met his thrusts, her hips rising to meet his. The sounds of their bodies, slamming into one another and the grunts that they couldn't contain, brought them to a primal level. And while there was love and tenderness in who they were together. There was also this need. This innate desire that pulled them together, magnetized and desperate for each other.

But as they moved in sync, they both felt the crest of completion building to a dizzying degree. As much as Sid wanted to savor this and Caroline didn't want this to end, their bodies were screaming for release. In a few more strokes, Caroline's eyes shut and her chin lifted, the impact of her orgasm plowed into her. Moments later, Sid's own release took hold and deep inside of her he poured himself into her.

Sweaty and shaky, his grip over her fingers loosened. Her fingers were red and raw and he worried he had held on too hard. She seemed to sense that and her hand came up to cup his cheek. "I'm fine," she smiled. "I'm better than fine. That was amazing, you are amazing."

He fought to catch is breath, his chest hard against hers, their heartbeats fast against one another.

"You're pretty amazing yourself," he replied. His body untangling from hers. And he pulled her close. She snuggled into him, their bodies slick against each other, but too tired for a shower.

His eyes were heavy and his lips kissed the crown of her head.

"I love you," he whispered again her hair.

"I love you too," she sighed into his chest and let the pull of sleep take her to a place that could never be better than where she was right now.

* * *

It was early morning when she woke. It was still dark out and Sid laid sprawled next to her, his head buried in his pillow.

Caroline pulled herself out of bed and crept towards the luggage that sat on a wooden bench. She dug through and pulled out the drug store bag. Quietly, she went into the bathroom and closed the door.

She followed the directions for the first test. Then the next one. And finally the third.

She sat on the edge of the bathtub and waited, gnawing at her thumbnail. Then it was time. She got up and peered down at the tests on the bathroom sink.

She stared at the results.

And smiled.

 _***Author's note: Thanks for reading as always! Hope you enjoyed the chapter and more coming soon! So happy Sid is ok and hoping for a Penguins win tomorrow! Go Pens!***_


	7. Chapter 7: The Christmas Present Part II

He was just beginning to stir when he felt her warmth and sweet scent as she tangled herself into him. Her hold on him was strong, a mix between pulling him into her and pushing herself into him. Caroline's nose nuzzled at his shoulder and he was awake.

Sid turned and peered at her, "Good morning," his voice sleepy and husky. "Merry Christmas."

Caroline's eyes were brighter than normal, her cheeks pink and her bottom lip full as if she'd been gnawing on it for hours.

"Merry Christmas," she replied, squirming into him even more.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead, then reluctantly pulled himself away as nature was calling. Caroline clung onto him and he looked at her perplexed.

"Sid…" she studied his face, her eyes searching his. He waited for her to continue.

"I.." she paused again. Then leaned forward, her lips brushing against the angle of his jaw.

"I love you."

He grinned at her, his fingers tucking back her unruly curls. "I love you too."

The snow was falling steadily through the window as they went into the living room together. Sid plugged in the Christmas tree and Caroline put on some music. A small pile of gifts lay under the tree.

They had decided on a $50 limit for gifts. Together they had decided on a charity to give for the holidays because when money wasn't an object setting a small budget allowed for some more creative gift giving.

"You go first," Sid said, settling on his side on the thick carpet. He pulled two boxes from beneath the tree. One rectangular and one square.

Caroline sat cross legged next to him and took the packages. She opened the rectangular one first. A grey sweater lay inside the white tissue paper. She pulled the garment free. It was long sleeved and super soft. She leaned forward and pecked him on the lips.

"I love it," she said smiling, "I'll wear it at dinner later."

She then tore the paper for the second box. Lifting the lid, she saw a framed print. It was about 8 inches by 8 inches. It was a painting, abstract images in various colors. In the center was a quote.

Always remember there was nothing worth sharing, like the love that us share our name.

In the corner were the words, best wishes to the Crosbys.

It was signed by a familiar name.

The print was a lyric from her favorite song, from her favorite band. And signed by a member of the group.

"He did the artwork," Sid said, peering over her shoulder.

Caroline stared at the print. The words stared back at her. Their meaning holding something new. It was her first Christmas as a Crosby. Her first Christmas sharing Sid's name. It was perfect.

And she told him so.

Sid felt a heat creep on his cheeks.

"I thought you'd like it," unable to keep the pleased grin off his face.

"And it was under budget," he pointed out. "Only $15 for the frame."

"But h..ho..how?" Caroline stuttered, still in amazement.

Sid shrugged, "I know a guy."

Caroline laughed at that, she turned to him, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright with adoration.

"My turn," he said, pulling the remaining gifts free and pulling himself up into a seated position.

The first box contained some neckties. Geometric patterns in various blues and greys. Definitely his style and perfect for the rest of the season.

The other box was smaller. Caroline gnawed at her lip as he pulled the paper from the box.

Under the tissue paper lay a pair of cufflinks. They looked like antiques. He picked them up, inspecting the naval engravement.

"They belonged to a Canadian Naval Officer. They're from World War II, or so they told me." Caroline informed him.

"They're so cool," Sid said examining the tarnished gold.

"Where did you find these?" He asked setting them back into the box.

Caroline grinned, "I know a guy." Then quickly squealed, as he lunged towards her, pulling her into him, his fingers going for her sides.

They called both sides of their families, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. They talked about traditions as they then pulled out leftovers to snack on while the fire burned and the snow fell.

Sid shared his family tradition of playing hockey with his dad and sister, as well as uncles and cousins. They would go outside right after dinner and play for hours, the cold no match for their enthusiasm.

"We could do that," Caroline offered.

Sid looked skeptical.

"If it's a family tradition, I can give it a try," she told him.

"But there's no ice, we don't even have sticks or pucks."

"There's a shed out back, maybe they have some hockey stuff, I mean this is Canada after all."

Sid studied her, "Are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, it looks pretty cold out there."

Caroline nodded, an enthusiastic smile on her face, "Sure, why not? I mean, what else are we going to do?"

Sid gave a predatory grin, his eyes flashing, "I could think of a few things."

Caroline reddened, then cleared her throat, "Let's give this a try, if it doesn't work out...then we can pursue other activities." She ended her offer with a grin.

He agreed and the two got ready for their outdoor activities. Caroline bundled up, while Sid threw on a sweatshirt and a ball cap.

"It's freezing out there," Caroline warned him.

"Canadian blood," he informed her. "I'll be fine."

They surveyed the contents of the shed. There were some paint cans and a raft. An outdoor broom and a shovel. In the corner was one hockey stick, a pail filled with pucks and a variety of summer sporting goods.

Improvising, they brought out the paint cans, the broom, the shovel and the hockey stick and pucks. Sid made a makeshift net with the paint cans and the raft. He brushed off the back patio covered in the freshly fallen snow and handed the hockey stick to Caroline and took the shovel.

"Here, you can shoot and I'll be goalie. I'll use the shovel as my stick."

Caroline looked at the hockey stick like it was a foreign object. She wondered how good of an idea this had been, as she awkwardly held the stick and looked helplessly at her husband.

"C'mere," he instructed, amusement written all over his face. She followed him to the front of the "net." Coming up behind her, his arms reached around her, his hands covering hers as her positioned where she needed to hold the stick. "Grip the shaft here," his fingers moving her hand down the length of the stick. His voice was low and his breath warm on her cold cheek. Her breath hitched, as she felt his body so close to hers. She didn't try to pretend the chill going up and down her spine had to do with the weather. His nearness, even now still made her head fuzzy.

After some instruction, she held the stick the way she was supposed to and took some practice "swings."

"Ok," Sid said satisfied, taking a step back and looking at Caroline's form and grip. He headed into net, took the shovel in hand. "Give me your best shot."

Caroline looked at the puck on the ground, angled herself to the side of the puck, pulled back and took a shot like Sid had instructed.

She missed.

Completely.

"It's ok," Sid called, "try again."

She did. This time the puck moved about 4 feet. Still quite a distance from where Sid stood between the paint cans.

After twenty minutes and twenty pucks later, she had gotten three shots on goal. It was pretty pathetic. So much that the ever competitive goalie let one in out of sheer pity.

"We could switch places," she offered.

Sid nodded.

Two minutes later, all twenty pucks lay in the back of the raft.

"Sorry," Sid called feeling badly.

Caroline just smiled, "You didn't even hit them that hard. I think I'm a better spectator than player. This can't be that fun for you."

He jogged up to her, "Of course it is. Anything we do together is fun."

He was being nice.

"Let's see what else is in there," she said, nodding towards the shed.

A few minutes later, as Sid cleared up the paint cans and pucks, Caroline emerged with two rackets and a birdie.

"Badminton?" she asked holding up the rackets.

So that Christmas afternoon a new tradition was born. Badminton in the snow. For the next 30 minutes they volleyed back and forth, not really keeping score but trying to see how long they could keep a volley going. Caroline gave a whack that ended up going further than intended. She watched a Sid ran backwards trying to get the shuttlecock reaching his arm far back and then...disappeared from view.

"Omigod!" Caroline exclaimed running towards him. The patio was only few feet off the ground and when she reached the end, there lay Sid in a mountain of snow, the white stuff covering him.

"Are you ok?" she asked immediately. And as Sid nodded, Caroline couldn't stop the giggle that erupted.

"I-it wa-was like you we-were there and th-th-then you weren't," she could barely get the words out, as the giggles turned to full laughter.

"Very funny," Sid grumbled, but she could tell he wasn't too upset by her reaction. "Help me up, would you?"

Caroline wiped her eyes and reached down, extending her hand to him. Only when he took it, when his fingers wrapped around hers, did he jerk her forwards, his body breaking her fall.

"Oof!" she exclaimed, the snow surrounding him, now surrounding her. He turned her and deposited her into the pillow of snow next to him.

"Co-co-cold!" she exclaimed. Sid just laughed, then leaned over her, his mouth brushing against hers.

She sighed happily, "Your lips are warm," she said as the snow started to permeate her jeans.

"Oh yeah?" his voice was husky.

"Mmmhmm," she replied dreamily as his lips moved from hers and landed on her cheeks, her forehead, her chin and her nose. She arched into him as his mouth moved to her neck and the fact that her butt was turning numb didn't even register.

"I think outdoor activities are over," he mumbled into her skin.

Caroline, brain fuzzy again, nodded in agreement.

"Time for the other things."

A few hours later they finished up their leftovers dinner and the cable was out due to the snow. They were all packed up, as tomorrow morning it would be back to reality. Sid pulled out the box of scrabble off a shelf of games in the living room and suggested they play to pass the time. Caroline fixed some hot chocolate, while Sid set up the game. For the next hour or they played a few games. It was getting late and the last round was almost over when Caroline looked down at her letters.

It was a sign. Maybe more than that, or maybe less. But either way, with her husband sitting across the way from her, those words from the framed print filled her head. He was her partner and her best friend. Every moment spent with him was more precious than the one before. And it was time for him to know that the family they had created was about to get a little bit bigger.

Caroline laid down the tiles one by one. Her heart was racing and her fingers trembled as she lay down the letters. When she finished, she sat back and locked her gaze on Sid.

B-A-B-Y.

Sid furrowed his brow. "Um, that doesn't work."

Caroline looked down at the board. Then back at Sid.

"I think it does," she replied, a nervous grin on her face.

Sid's fingers ghosted over the letters. The Y was at the end of the word he had laid down previously.

"I don't think GAUGEY is a word. I mean you could use the E and make the word babe," he prattled on, looking at the board intently.

"Sid…"

He looked up at her.

"I think you should give it to me," she said finding it harder to breathe.

"Care…"

"Sid, look."

He stared at her word, then back up at her.

"Gaugey is not a wor-"

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. The tears instantly pooled in her eyes. Her heart leapt to the back of her throat and she stared at him.

He looked back down at the board, the letters staring back at him.

BABY.

"Wha…" the words wouldn't come.

Caroline bounced from her seat and dashed down the hall.

Moments later she returned, her fingers clutched around something.

She dropped three plastic sticks down in front of him.

"I took three tests. They were all positive."

He stared at the tests, still there were no words. He picked them up one by one, as Caroline started to ramble. "I'm not sure how it happened, i mean I know how it happened, but I'm on birth control. I don't know if when I changed prescriptions something happened, but I haven't missed a day. And I know this is all kind of quick but I think it's a go-"

Her words were cut off as Sid stood from his chair and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped himself around her, holding her tight. Really tight.

She didn't say anything, finally he pulled back. His eyes were wet. Taking her face in his hands he pressed his mouth to hers.

She clung to him. Feeling overwhelmed but excited at the same time.

Drawing back, he looked at her, "a baby," he said, his voice quiet.

"Yeah," she nodded.

Suddenly be pulled back and looked down at her stomach, alarm on his face. "I shouldn't have pulled you down into the snow earlier. And..last night, what if I was too rough?"

Caroline placed her hand on his chest, "Sid, it's ok. I don't think you did anything to hurt, him or her. It's still early. I'll make an appointment with the doctor when we get back, just to make sure the tests were correct."

He grinned, widely, his eyes once wet, now sparkled. "We're going to have a baby." His hand reached out and found the hem of her t-shirt. His palm went under her shirt and covered her stomach, her skin soft and warm under his fingers.

"Sid," she breathed, looking up at him with newly moistened eyes.

"You're going to be the best dad."

* * *

Flower and Mario came over first. They tried to keep things light, but Sid had too many questions. A little while later the team doctors arrived. Sid was more comfortable with them and they took his vitals and performed a few tests. They tried to sugar coat it at first, but he wasn't having any of it.

It was a concussion. Which he knew. But it had a few unusual side effects. Periods of time had been lost. The doctors were confident they memories would return, but he couldn't let himself get too worked up. It wasn't healthy. Rest and time were what was best for him. They would be back tomorrow, but for now he just needed quiet.

It was dark when Caroline returned. Trina was just coming out of the bedroom when she saw Caroline ascending the stairs.

"You came back," she said quietly, somewhat surprised.

"I said I would," Caroline said shortly. She'd gone to lunch with Sara. Explained as much as she could. She wanted to scream and cry and vent to her friend. But she didn't. What could she say? She'd left town. Left everyone behind without a word. She'd packed up as much stuff as she could fit in her car and she'd gone.

And now she was back. To an estranged husband who had no idea what she had done. Who didn't hate her.

Only because he couldn't remember.

"What did you do?" There was yelling. The colors and the shapes were disjointed, blurs. But the voice, his voice was unmistakable.

"Yo-you don't understand." This time it was a different voice. Tearful and frantic. Caroline's voice.

"What did you do?" His voice roared.

Sid woke with a start. He had nodded off again. This time when he woke it was dark outside. He heard low voices outside the door. He got up and went into the bathroom, washed his face and stared back at his reflection. His eyes had trouble focusing and he stared as if to will the memories back into his head. His gaze shifted to bathroom vanity, at what was there and what wasn't there.

What did you do?

Those words echoed in his head.

He made his way back into the bedroom and saw Caroline standing there, turning a lamp on.

"Hey," he said causing her to jump in surprise. She turned to look at him and he put his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no," she said quietly. "I wasn't sure where you were."

"Caroline," he started.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, her gaze shifting away from his.

"They told me about the concussion, that I have amnesia?"

"I think it's just certain parts are missing, chunks of time, but I think you will get them back. I mean, I know you'll get them back and everything will be ok again."

Ok again. Those words hung in the air, because he knew something wasn't right.

He looked at her, then walked over to their closet and opened the door.

"Sid…" Caroline started.

He stared at the contents and then swung around to look at her.

His voice was quiet and measured.

"That picture on the desk, from winning the cup. You weren't in it. And earlier...you cried when I kissed you. The bathroom, your things aren't there. This closet is missing your clothes. He walked towards her quickly and before she could react, he took her hand in his, looking at her fingers. Her ring finger devoid of any rings.

"You weren't at your parents' this weekend. You weren't here when I got hit, because you don't live here anymore."

It wasn't that the memories had come back, it was that all the signs were right in front of him.

Signs that told him that something was very very wrong.

"Caroline, what happened? Please, just tell me what happened."

Caroline's eyes flooded with tears stared back at him.

Finally she nodded.

"Ok, I'll tell you everything."

 _***Author's note: Oh my goodness. I am so so sorry about this long delay. There is a long list of reasons for this delay, a broken computer, work craziness, playoff overload and a new kitty! But I am back. I am plugging away and as usual I hope to move along a little quicker, but we will see. For those of you still reading, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter.***_


	8. Author's Note

_***I'm sorry I don't have an update for you. I just wanted to check in because I know its been a while. I've had some personal stuff going on this summer that has kept me from devoting time to this story. I know this is a broken record but it is what it is. I have not given up on this story by any means and hope to have an update for you soon. Thanks as always for reading and I'm really sorry for the long delays in chapters.***_


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